Crystal Kay on 5LDK

Crystal appeared on J-boy band Tokio's TV show 5LDK: where they grill their guests, dig up embarrassing photo's, footage and people from their pasts. This is Japanese TV, so it's nothing too scandalous like illegitimate children and once upon a time crack head momma's being dug up like how they'd do on US television.


Everybody I've introduced Crystal Kay to has always commented on how she doesn't look straight Japanese. She certainly looks more Japanese now than she did when she was younger. She looked like a black baby way back! And what was her parents thinking letting a crack head handle their baby!? Crystal should kicked the dude in his face that asked if Bobby Brown was her dad.

I didn't know whether to find Crystal dancing as a little 'un cute or weird. I thought it was cute until she put her hands behind her head and started slow grinding. Crystal had better moves then than she does now. I love Crystal. I'd sex her on the side from my wife Hikaru Utada and wire her money for our illegitimate child. But the girl cannot dance for shit.

This showed a cool insight into Crystal and aspects of her life we don't get to see usually. Even without translations you can catch the jist of what's being expressed, and still enjoy it. Although with any luck a fan will sub it so I can find out all about Crystal's shit, and then hit her with the casual knowledge of her life game when I track her ass down in Yokohama on my next trip to Japan. I'd treat her to dinner too. I got meat I can feed her on her knees if she likes. I don't know the Heimlich manoeuvre though, so hopefully she's got some good gag reflex goin' on.

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