Album review: Cheryl Cole - 3 words

Cheryl Cole - 3 words | Album review

You have to hand it to Cheryl Cole. She gives girls across the world hope that you can be talentless, get caught in a racial attack scandal, speak like a special case and still see success in not only in the countries top charting girl group, but also as a solo artist. Her stint on The X-Factor pretty much guaranteed that we'd see an album from her at some point, and see an album we did. 3 words. And I've got three words for this crap. It is rubbish.

Despite parading around in a girl group whose music was unadulterated, unsaturated pop with no question and or two ways about it. Cheryl Cole's solo set is as far removed from any Girls aloud album as you can get. She just about has the vocals to handle verses on over-produced pop records, yet she somehow felt she was in a position to take on some form of R&B. I would say the bitch is completely stupid (I'll save the outright name calling for later), but oddly enough these R&B lite tracks are 3 words' highlights. Although Cheryl is not the reason as to why these songs are good. More the opposite. She's the reason they become lost causes.

"Fight for this love", "Parachute" and "Happy hour" are the albums' more R&B flavoured cuts. And I have to admit - they are great songs. The production and songwriting on all three songs are solid enough that you can acknowledge the songs are rather really good without feeling you've committed some form of sin. Although in actuality  you already have. Because you're admitting that this talentless tramp has good songs. But Cheryl's vocals are so half arsed, weak and layered amongst the backing vocalists - that you're left reeling off a bunch of names who could have actually sold the songs and made it about them. Leona Lewis would have sounded amazing on "Fight for this love". Lady Gaga would have shut it down on "Parachute". And Alexandra Burke could have done with "Happy hour".

The Black eyed peas' front man Will.i.am takes the reigns for much of the album. And as a result you get a bunch of songs with solid production, but awful lyrics and shit awful delivery from Cheryl. "3 words" is abysmal. There is nothing about the song that could make it work other than right clicking on it and selecting 'Delete'. "Heaven" is cringe worthy due to the strained effort that Cheryl is putting into trying to sound half decent. And it's hard to take on board her singing about how amazing the man in her life is, when we know we know her husband is a cheating ass n***a of a footballer. "Make me cry" is one of Will.i.am's best offerings production wise; sounding a little Rose Royce and Shalamaar like. But the lyrics are terrible and the chorus is repetitive. And not that cool, quirky, sing-a-long repetitive. But that mundane and redundant repetitive, which renders the chorus near non-existent. "Boy like you" is so The Black eyed peas, that I can't believe Will.i.am gave it away. And to some Geordie white girl with no talent at that. If he was going to give the song to anybody, it should have gone to a chick like Nicole Scherzinger. She has that style of swag which could have made this work as a Pussycat dolls single.

Other songs such as "Rain on me" and "Talk about this love" fill in the gaps within this patchy as hell album. And are once again, good songs in the hands of the wrong ho. "Rain on me" is the one song on the album which alludes to Cheryl's roots in Girls aloud. Lyrically and sound wise it wreaks of a Girls aloud track. With Nadine's vocals, this could have been hot. But Cheryl's vocals just strike it with lightning and leave it fried. "Talk about this love" is a nice offering, which is written none other than by Daniel Bedingfield's sister (not Natasha). A demo of her version had been floating around some time before Cheryl got a hold of the song. You're free to make your own judgement's on which you prefer. But whilst Nicola's version is more heartfelt, Cheryl's version is more radio friendly. "Stand up" is written by UK R&B / Pop talent Taio Cruz. Those who know of his style wouldn't need anybody to point out he had anything to do with this song, because you can tell straight away that he did. A good song, but it's SO Taio that he should have just kept it for himself. But it's nice he showed a fellow UK pop artist some love.

The production on 3 words is solid. This matched with catchy lyrics (for the most part) and a bunch of backing vocalists singing in perfect harmony and running rings around the songs help give the album a polished finish. But Cheryl gets lost in it all; from the first track to the last. Nothing about this album highlights anything about Cheryl other than her inability to actually sing. She sounds rough, as though she's trying too hard (or not enough) and is completely vacant of any vocal warmth what-so-ever. And this is what kills the album more than anything else. The songs all lack any form of soul. Even some of Girls aloud's songs (as annoying as they were) had heart and life behind them. And hereby lies the glaring problem with 3 words - you don't get a real sense of who Cheryl Cole is

3 words is whack and has nothing on any of Girls aloud's releases, and they were by no means as amazing and as ground breaking as many made out. Cheryl has a great image. She could model for days. But as an artist, I'm not buying into her. Her 15 minutes is starting now. She needs to go and wash Ashley dirty underwear that some other broad had her face in, and pull the plug on music unless it's with Girls aloud and Xenomania in tow.

2.5 / 10
Album highlights:
■ Fight for this love
■ Parachute J's fave
■ Happy hour

7 comments:

  1. Why did you post this now? This album is, like, two years old? And what's with the Ashley reference? They've been divorced for a year...

    Well, whatever. I like the album. Not because Cheryl's any good, but because it sounds like she tries and she's quite endearing. It helps that the songs are good, too.

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  2. I'm glad you posted this actually - nice surprise and you've said thoughts about the album in previous posts before so it's nice to see it in full

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  3. hahaha oooo J is bout to regulate a Stan! haha jk jk

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  4. @ Sylfi
    I posted a review of Hikaru Utada's "Deep river" last year. That album came out in 2002. So what exactly is your point?

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  5. I agree. Those are the main 3 songs I repeat, and Heartbreaker ft will.i.am.

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  6. Well, I guess you're right. But why did you feel the need to do it? We already know that you utterly despise Cheryl Cole. I guess you wanted to make it official? XD

    But still, the Ashley reference is odd. I don't think she would be washing any underwear of his, dirty or not.

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  7. Cheryl Cole, she cannot sing at all. Its nice that Cheryl tries though, but even compared to Nicole Scherzinger she is so basic.

    I'm glad Cheryl's only popular in the UK. I love many European artists that I wish would do more activites in North America or Asia, but Cheryl can stay in the UK.

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