Crystal Kay releases a new Vlog about an upcoming fan meeting (Full translation)

Crystal Kay put up a new Vlog on her official YouTube account about her upcoming fan meeting. I think Crystal needs to focus on the bigger picture of how to get Japan to buy her albums, but it's nice she's doing something for the fans, despite them having done nothing for her *looks at Vivid's first week sales*

If you had absolutely no idea what Crystal just said, you can find my full translation to the vlog after the jump.

*Side eye at the bitch coughing off camera*

My n***as, wasssssupp! How is ya'll? Crystal Kay here. You bitches is all stoopid. (LOL!)

Excuse the horns and this...stupid ass geddup. I just got done from my shift at 'Hoes and Bows'. But enough of that shit. Let's get down to business. MY FAN MEETING NUMBER 2!! You're probably wondering what happened to number 1 right!? Well so the hell am I, seeing as none of you turned up and left me waiting at the Hachiko exit in Shibuya.

This fan meeting will be taking place in Yokohama, close to my home so that if none of you turn up, I don't have to catch me a 1 hour bullet train back home. And to try and entice you into bothering to turn up, my fan meeting will take place on a DINNER CRUISE BITCH!! Woooooooooooooo!!

*sings Celine Dion*

Sorry ya'll. Whenever I think of cruises and boats I think of that song and that Titanic motion picture bullshit, but ANYWAY! Back to business.

I've mentioned Yokohama, boats and shit and have decided to call this fan meeting the 'HAMA CRUISE'. I don't know why. You don't know why. I really don't care. I just want you to turn up so I know I has fans, because my albums sales say that I don't. I wanted to set this up so we could all take pictures, eat together, have a bit of a question time where I could ask ya'll questions like 'Did you really hate Spin the music that much!?', 'Why didn't you buy Vivid?' 'How come you supported that lazy trick from Okinawa when she didn't do one f**king bit of promotion!?'. Things like that. It will be SOOOO much fun!

I've been trying to get this fan club shit started for so long and it's like...not happened. So I'm hoping that this dinner cruise will get the ball rolling, 'cos I know ya'll won't say no to free food. This fan meeting will be like...the birthday of my fan-club. I want it to be special. I want it to be amazing. I want Vivid to be resurrected from the foot of the charts, because quite frankly, my album is amazing, it don't deserve to be there and I need the money.

Updates on this fan meeting can be found on my homepage and at the Team C.Kay website. I can't remember what the URL is, so just Google for that shit. Join my newsletter too! D'ya know what... I may even sing live at this thing... Yeah, I think I might. I've barely performed anything from my new album since it dropped. Television don't seem to want me. My manager tried to reach out to TV stations, they all said 'No'. So, f**k 'em. I'll sing on a boat instead. It will be poppin'.

I'll also be performing at Blitz in Tokyo. They've got a dance-floor and everything, so I'mma hit that once I'm done on stage. Fellas, holla if you're gonna be in the house and want me to push up on it.

I just want you all to love me and buy my albums. So please... Hit up my gigs in Blitz AND my fan meeting, okay? A chicks gotsa live!

So, that's that! The Crystal Kay fan meeting number 2. 'Hama cruise'. Where we'll get to kick it together each, chill and I can get my groove on and shit, awwwwww-yeeeeah.

Until then ya'll, take care, okay!? See you guy soooooooon!


  1. I imagine that this is probably pretty accurate. Hoes and Bows lmfaooo what is with that get up though?? is she doing some role play shit for the higher ups at universal to keep her record deal?


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