Music video: Christina Aguilera murders men without sitting on them in "Your body"


Christina hit up Claire's accessories, picked the cheapest, nastiest colour clips in's she could find. Ate cake. Put on so much jewellery a chick can barely hold a slice of cake. Ate cereal. Then took a raggedly ass long haul journey bus to her Aunty Mable's trailer park in Kansas and gave us a kick ass music video. The video for "Crush your body" is one of Christina's best since "Dirrty".

What works about this video is that it offsets two of the main criticisms which have been aimed at Christina's big white whale booty. The song itself and her weight. It's ironic. Because had the tempo of the song had been faster and had Christina been skinnier, we would have gotten a hyper sexualized video with some some nonsense dance routine for the sake of there being one. But because Christina's too busy sitting her ass down in chairs and eating cereal, her body is hella chunky so a bitch don't wanna dance and be on a set wearing a thong and sequins taped to her titties. So we got something with a slower tempo, which forced a video to be shot which focused on a bit of a story instead. With Christina styled in a way which didn't highlight her weight gain and actually had her pretty damn hot. In fact...I think this is the hottest Christina has looked in a good while. The hot trailer trash look works really well for her. Real talk. No shade. I liked it. She genuinely looked hot.

Still not sold on the song, but I really liked this video. It's different from what I thought she would do for such a song and it shows a fun loving, light hearted side to Christina which feels easier to tolerate than the constant bitch facery she seemed hell-bent on giving us during the short promotional run of her 2009 flop Bionic. And despite the song being such a skankthem, the video is pretty tame and a somewhat classy representation of it.

I won't even throw it out there that this was a bit like Britney's "I wanna go", meets "Criminal", meets Nicki Minaj. Oh, shoot I just did. Still a pretty damn hot video regardless.

How many of you Christina fans flipped out when she walked up into that bar looking like she came straight out of the Stripped era and then put on that CD? More of you than bought Bionic, I know that much. WAY TO GO CHRISSY!!

Review: All Christina wants to do is f**k yo' body. That's all.

4 comments:

  1. I totally agree! It's been a while since I saw an interesting, funny music video. It diffuses the impact of the lyrics that more conservative listeners would have objected to. I liked the Lucille Ball references too. And she looked great!

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  2. So we are totally opposite ^^

    I like the song but disappointed in the MV. The opening was unnecessary, and the whole MV was too slow and not very daring. The restroom scene could have been way better if Christina got on her knees and then her clothes would flew through the door. Or the car scene where they just started making out and then stopped in the middle and closed their eyes just doesn't feel convincing at all.

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    1. Here I thought I was the only who liked the song and not the video.

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  3. OMG did J actually post a positive Xtina article?! I know you had to throw ya lil digs in but whatev lol
    Seriously though this video slays everything, Xtina looks hot as fuckkkkkkkk and she just owned it.
    And yeah when she came out in that "Stripped" look and did the "Dirrty" cum on chin wipe when she came out of the cubicle I had to pause and compose myself lmao

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