Solange 'Chun-Li' Knowles beats down Jay-Z. Beyoncé does nothing.
Not many know that the Amazonian queen from the kingdom of lost wigs aka Beyoncé has a sister given that Beyoncé's shadow puts her in complete darkness and her weaves soundproof the sound of her music when she tries to put shit out for hits, but she does. She is currently making the rounds online for beating down her famous, older sister's husband. Beyoncé's sister put a beat down on Jay-Z in such a fashion, that I'm considering e-mailing Capcom to make Solange an unlockable character in Ultra Street Fighter IV.
Beyoncé, her sister Solange, Jay-Z and Beyoncé's incompetent bodyguard all got into an elevator. Solange got straight up in Jay-Z's face and swung punches, threw her purse, kicked off her shoes and then went straight Chun-Li on his ass with roundhouse kicks.
TMZ naturally somehow managed to get footage from the elevator camera (which worryingly makes me wonder what the hell they do to get some of this stuff and how corrupt the people with access to such footage are) and the whole fight is for all to see. There is no audio in this video and we will never truly know why Solange went crazy on Jay.
Things we can learn from this fight are:
- If you ever see Solange get into a lift, take the stairs.
- Beyoncé don't get involved in anything unless it involves gyrating on a stage, thrashing her weave or getting a song writing credit for a song her ass didn't write.
Beyoncé being the master of masking emotion was spotted around the venue smiling like everything was as peachy as f**k. Meanwhile Solange had a face like she was ready for rounds 2, 3, 4 and sudden death; whilst Jay-Z was left looking distraught, confused and ready to hit Blue Ivy's babysitter and the Hamptons housekeeper with a whatsapp on how Solange ain't welcome no mo', with a call to his bank to cut a bitch off.
The Internet had been trying to tell people that you don't f**k with Solange. You just don't. This girl is hungry for the fame and has been living in Beyoncé's 24 hour clock shadow her whole life. You don't mess with these shadow hoes, because they will turn your eyes as black as the darkness they've been living in.
Naturally memes have been running rampant online ever since this all kicked off. All of them are hilarious, but the one below is my favourite of them all.
All of the credit and the awards to the originator of this meme.