Music video: Madonna acts a teenage mess in her "Bitch, I'm Madonna" music video

Now, I could sit here and say that Madonna is too grown to be prancing around some plush penthouse-party with a pink dip dye job in some Jeremy Scott concoction with a bunch of kids a third of  her age. I could also sit and talk about how this song is a desperate attempt at Madonna trying to be hip and cash in on this being the type of song 'da kidz' rock to in the clubs and in their cars. But there's no point. Because bitch, it's Madonna and she does what the hell she likes. The theme of the song is like the Big Brother key of immunity. The get out of jail free card. The answer to every comment about any form of appropriation is met with 'Bitch, I'm Madonna'. So let's not bother. 

There's that and also that the song and video are both genuinely fun when you take them at face value and try not to over analyse or scratch its surface. 

There were points in this video where I cringed at Madonna trying to be hip. The pulling in of stars almost feels like a middle finger to Taylor Swift, although I'd say Taylor had the better song and at least managed to get her guest features to bother turning up to the set. Miley, Katy and Beyoncé all phoned in Vines for their cameos and Nicki Facetimed her entire rap.

Rebel heart has been a shambles from the start; between the leaks, Madonna been dragged down to the floor live at the BRIT awards and the album itself being an over-long, inconsistent mess. But it's nice to see her support the album with a third decent video released in a timely fashion after the last one, which is more than can be said for MDNA and Hard candy.

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