Music video: Beyoncé featuring J. Cole - Party

Rather than give us all a moment to digest her music videos, the Amazonian android empress from the kingdom of lost wigs is beating us around the head with new video after new video. You'd think she'd pace them so she has shit to roll out during the months when her ass will be too fat and over-pregnant to do anything by eat celery sticks and ice cream. But nope. It's not how this woman rolls.

Beyoncé's latest video for her 80s banger "Party" is a masterpiece. And by masterpiece I mean a cheap garbage ass piece of hood skank.

0:00 Michelle Williams pressed that she didn't get invited to the party.

0:04 Copies of Solo star and Sol-angel and the Hadley street dreams roasting on the barbecue. I guess the copies sold were the ones Beyoncé had bought.

0:06 Some n***as.

0:08 Oh look! It's the trailer Mathew bought Solange for her 21st birthday, so she could live on the Knowles estate without actually living in the house with the members of the family who were making money.

0:14 More n***as. The one in the middle is getting his Mardi gras bead game on.

0:18 Dead at this woman frontin' like she can actually cook, when we witnessed her tell Oprah that all her ass could do was serve water in a glass.

0:20 These aren't actresses. These are genuine hoes. Hoes whose hair game puts Beyoncé's to shame.

0:21 Yep. She a genuine ho alright.

0:24 Jay-Z sperm makes an appearance. And the highlighting foils in Beyoncé's hair might just be condom wrappers.

0:26 This chick did not just go and drink water from a garden hose?! [Note: Third genuine ho in the video whose hair game is better than Beyoncé's]

0:45 Damn! I didn't know Ashanti was in this video. She's lost weight!

0:52 Solange throwing it back to the 90's with the braids. Brandy be hating, because I know she was trying to bring this shit back like a re-run of Moesha.

1:11 Beyoncé's attempt to dougie. She also has an Albino dude in her video. Somewhere on the Internet some Katy Perry's fanbase is calling out Beyoncé for copying the "E.T" video.

1:17 That white Indie grunge looking dude is clearly as the wrong party. Either that or he REALLY likes him some chocolate ho-hoes.

1:27 Beyoncé looks like a clown.

1:35 Beyoncé is in a paddling pool rocking a lacefront with roots darker than Wesley Snipes. I just can't.

1:45 Indie grunge dude got what he came for. Well played playa. Well played!

1:52 So Beyoncé shot images from her 4 inlay on the set of this video. Damn. She really is trying to save and scrape them dollars for her music video budgets...or lack of from "Run the world (Hoes)" onwards.

1:54 The pool weave is now getting wet and looks even more of an atrocity.

1:56 This video makes Khia's "My neck, my back" video look like a 2 million dollar Hype Williams masterpiece

2:15 J. Cole's rap is nowhere near as good as André 3000's

2:20 This bit of the video had to have been shot long after the rest of it, when Decepticon Carter Knowles starting showing. Because Beyoncé is sitting on the floor looking pregnant as hell.

2:38 This video looks like it was shot by Daniel Julez on Jay-Z's iPhone

3:03 Thank you Kelly Rowland. Thank you taking the effort to show up in a decent lacefront. Because Beyoncé sho' as hell didn't.

3:06 Oh no. She's wearing fur again. Beyoncé had better hide in a sewer. PETA will not give two shits that she's pregnant.

3:13 It's not a true hood video until you see n***a's gambling with dice.

3:32 These look like out-takes from Beyoncé's DAZED photoshoot. Once again, B is on that dollar save game.