Letter to Timbaland...

Dear Timbaland,

I've been a fan of yours for 10 years, but I've hit a point where I'm wondering what I liked about you. I have to be honest with you: your sound is falling off. Big time! Every time you drop a song these days, I feel let down. Even more so when I check the production credits and see 3 to 4 other names listed as producers alongside yours. I'm questioning whether you can do shit on your own any more. I'm still sceptical you produced Keri Hilson's "Return the favour" by yourself, and believe fully that somebody went uncredited.

You were at your best when you was overweight and you had no people skills. As soon as you stopped mumbling incoherent nonsense, hit a gym and learned to communicate with people: your beats sufferred. I also feel you should limit your contact with white people to just Justin Timberlake, Kiley Dean, Bubba Sparxxx and Larry Gold. I'm not quite sure what you were doing working with Ashlee Simpson, Madonna, Katy Perry and Miley Cyrus - but it can't happen again. I suggest you stay around creative n***a's like Jay-Z, Missy Elliott and Brandy. I'm glad you've started to again. I just hope you can throw it back and make Aaliyah proud. 'Cos your shit died when she did. And baby girl is tired from all the spinnin' in her grave. And Static Major is still spinnin' n***a, he spinnin'!!

With this letter you'll find a mixtape of beats you produced when you were officially one of the best producers in the game, and nobody was touching your sound. You will also find a Fed-Ex'd rations pack which contains: a bucket of grease, 2 KFC family buckets, a loaf of corn bread and 3 flasks of Kool aid; to help you put back on the weight. 'Cos like I said, when you were fat, so were the beats.

Tim, turn your shit around...please!! Your fans and the game needs the classic Timbo back. I've heard some of the Shock value II joints, and I do like some of them. And that beat you wasted on Madonna for "Across the sky" was bangin'! So I know all is not lost.

Love you n***a. Rickitt! Rickitt!

- J


  1. Is this gonna be a new section on the blog?

  2. i wonder what will the music industry be like today if aaliyah is still alive. i hope timbo reads this. how do we know if he does?

  3. How you were polite man...i mean big time!!

    you should've started your letter with "Timbo why are U being such a DOUCHE???....."


    I mean really! Thats not the way you treat people who started with you at first.And I bet MY LIFE ON IT: Missy DO NOT SPEAK TI TIMBO ANYMORE! I will bet whatever U guys want On This! Dude is turning his ass on everyone...

    Ive been a HUUUUGE fan of his...that ended AFTER the "loose" album...

  4. Oh my God Miley Cyrus, oh the horror. Just thinking about that makes me sick to my stomach.


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