Single review: Mariah Carey - Triumphant (Get 'em)

Mariah Carey - Triumphant (Get 'em) | Single review

As soon as I'd heard Mariah's new single would feature Meek Mills and Rick 'I look like I swallowed Diana' Ross 'and every one of dem Supremes' - I knew exactly what type of song this was going to be. You knew what type of song this was going to be. But Mariah curve balled us slightly. Because I don't think anybody knew the end result would wind up being this much of a mess.

"Triumphant (Get 'em)" has to be one of the worst singles Mariah has released in her whole career. I do not want to hear anybody trash talk those Glitter singles, because "Loverboy" was the jam and "Never too far" is up there in that glass cabinet with some of Mariah's best ballads. But this brass section, farted out sounding trash is beyond the pale. To class this ghetto wreckage as music is a bigger disservice to music than Ke$ha's Animal. At least that shit had GOOD SINGLES. I could barely hear what Mariah was singing on this piece of shit. I could not for the life of me make out any hint of a chorus. And if it wasn't for the dead face of Mariah staring into my eyes the whole time I was streaming the track from her website I would have sworn it was Rick Ross & Meek Mill featuring Mariah Carey. How the hell are you going to let yourself be reduced to a guest feature on your own COMEBACK record? Bitch needs to get her shit TOGETHER!

Mariah's team knew the second she pushed play on this mess that "Triumflop (Get 'em)" would not get spun as part of any playlist on pop radio, so they ordered her to put out remixes. At time of writing, 2 dance remixes to this song exist. 5 years ago this would have been seen as Mariah just being Mariah, because she used to love a dance remix. But now it comes off as a contrived and desperate attempt to appease everybody. Not a single f**k has been given by Mariah on dance remixes between Glitter and Memoirs of an imperfect angel. Yet all of a sudden she cares and her reasoning is pretty much 'Boo, I used to do this all the time. I wanted to recapture a moment in time when I was pioneering dance remixes'. No. You is doing dance remixes now because it's the only way you will push units of a single now. That, and your record label telling you that unless you do something to fix this mess, your next album is going the way of Angels' advocate - 'cos NO pop radio station is going to play the original version of "Triumflop". Mariah sounds so detached from the music on both remixes that I wonder how much involvement she had in them aside from sending mp3's of her vocals to the producers via wetransfer. Something she probabaly had Jermaine Dupri do for her, because we know Mariah don't know how to use no laptop. Mariah's once long term remixer David Morales is disgusted at these remixes. I don't get why Mariah didn't just record a dance / pop record from scratch LIKE NORMAL PEOPLE. I can't see how having 3 versions of one song in circulation is a good move. More so when they are all trashtastic.

Everything about "Triumflop (Get 'em)" is an absolute mess. The original version sounds as outdated as f**k and the dance remixes are awful. The production on each version of this flop seems to have been handled by a team of people who just didn't care and threw all attention to detail off a cliff. Nobody at any point seemed to realize that this song fundamentally has no strong structure to it, has a piss poor chorus and that Mariah's vocals are about as strong as her will to resist pie.

Any lambs who stan for this song should be mulesed with a kitchen fork.

14 comments:

  1. Ohhhh nooooo.

    How the hell did they convince the vanity queen to turn down her microphones volume?

    And you're right... where's the chorus? Who let this happen? The stans on her youtube page are already defending this mess.

    Also, did the song just end like that? A fade away? THERE IS NO STRUCTURE.

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  2. REALLY disappointed... she better just pull the "buzz track" card out of Nick Cannon's purse and move onto the next one with some good shit. The biggest problem like you said is that this feels like Meek and Rick FEATURING Mariah... for a lead single this is a joke, she actually had a lot of anticipation and this is what she comes with!? O_O GRRR!!!

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  3. Mariah shouldn't even put this on an album. She needs to just B-side, throwaway this shit.

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  4. Wow. How has Mariah Carey come to this???? Seriously makes you wonder the kind of people she has around her...but even then, can she not HEAR how crap this song is? This is someone that has won Grammys for god's sake! Disappointed SMH

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  5. I thought the song was okay at first, until I heard it in the car. Came through like flat soda.

    JD was all hyping this track on Twitter... but with him and B. Cox on production duty, I feel they should have come with something 20x better. Dupri should just go ahead and hand the torch to B. Cox if this is the best he can do. The worst part was, Meek Mill and Rick Ross went in one right after the other. Usually, it's feature, original artist, feature.

    Killing R&B inadvertently.

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  6. It could be good as a piano ballad, but Mariah and real instruments, together? It won't happen.

    Her obsession to compete with the Beatles has killed her career. Her music is genius when is fresh, like a lot of songs from E=MC2. But when she tries to emulate old hits, or include rapers to get a better audience, to desperatly get a new number 1, she just fails.

    Her music has become grotesque as her obvious photoshop.

    Be real Mariah! Enjoy your music, and forget about success and formulas. Free your creativaty! Dismiss everybody around you, including Nick Canon!

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    Replies
    1. uh if she was going after the beatles then she wouldn't have released this single. She released this because it meant a lot to her.

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  7. Even photoshopped, her titties look a mess.

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  8. Maybe you should be "mulesed with a kitchen fork." for not being able to write an actual review. This whole blog is an unfunny, perezhiltion try hard mess.

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  9. the throwback remix is way better. but these rappers need to go.

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  10. Listen remixes by laidback and danny verde ... They rocks on triumphant and the voice of mariah sound amazing for the clubs

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  11. i think most critics r overreacting. It is a nice song, it just has too many rappers. i haven't the remix, but if many say it's good, then after she puts it out, the original could hit. the overloaded rapping was unecessary. the song mariah did that i hated was heartbreaker and the othersong with snoop...n u guys made that a hit? this song is WaY better

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