VMA's Japan '09

The VMA's Japan took place a couple of days ago, and as with the western VMA's - it was pretty boring. Really shit. The VMA's have been stinking in Japan as long as they've been stinking in the States. But still... there were some pretty decent performances amongst the mess. So watch, love, hate and critique them we will! Read on bitches! Read on...

The Black eyed peas - Boom Boom Pow

I confess to liking this song more than I should. I liked their swagger in this performance. I bet Japan was loving this. The Black eyed peas seem like the kinda band who get love over there because of their style and love for Japan. Plus, with Fergie having collaborated with Kumi Koda, she's already familiar to music lovers over there. I would've liked more in the way of stage presence and movement from the group, but overall I actually quite liked their performance.

BoA featuring Sean Garrett - I did it for love

Why was BoA putting the mic out into the crowd for them to sing like the song went number 1 on the Oricon charts and was a worldwide hit? Not only is this song old, but BoA performed it badly. She was shouting, sounding off on the occasions she did sing and could just about dance. BoA looked hot. That's all I'll give her. Everything else was plain awful.

This was the perfect opportunity for her to give a debut performance of an all new single. She should've been rocking it out to "Did ya" or "Obsessed" - songs which actually have some appeal. And as for Sean Garrett, I doubt anybody other than Fergie and Ciara knew who the hell he was. The performance wouldn't have been no worse without him. They could've gotten any random n***a to hop on that stage and sing, and nobody would've been none the wiser. BoA needs go to Korea and sit down for a good year. If she's not going to bring anything decent to the game, then she needs to remove herself from it.

Ciara - Love Sex Magic

Ciara shouldn't have looked so fly in a straight 80's glitter jumpsuit, but she did. Ciara is so damn fluid with her moves it's stupid. The way she just transitions between moves and is able to go from lying on the floor without it looking clunky is just hot to me. This was a simple performance, but a hot one. I actually like this version without Justin because it makes the song sound more like it's hers and not Justin featuring her. It was cool she sung his part instead of having some pre-recorded backing track handle it. It would've been cool to have seen some on-stage chemistry between the two. Unless of course Jessica Biel took an Emirates flight to Japan to keep her man in check and have him sidelined like in the SNL performance. But I like the whole sexy girl front thing she went for instead. Hotness. Bitches in Japan need to be watching them moves and taking notes. Yeah, I'm looking at'choo Kumi. Sex, with class. That's Ciara. You need to adopt that policy with the quickness.

EXILE - Touch the sky

These guys are too old to be wearing black and silver studded leather, strings vests and high tops. The whole of EXILE look like they're stuck in the 90's. I was not feeling this performance at all. The lead singer has a really good voice which didn't waver despite his jumping around. But the song sounded like some KAT-TUN B.S. And there was no syncrionicity between any of the other 12 members on that stage - and no amount of flashing lights, pyrotechnics, flips, cartwheels and karate kicks could mask that.

Green day - Know your enemy

Cool performance! No thrills, no trickery, nothing visually spectacular; just a great performance with lots of energy. "Know your enemy" is a cool song. Not Green day's best single, but a cool, catchy, anthemic song that does it's job. Every single person in the crowd looked like they were absolutely loving it.

Katy Perry - Hot 'n cold (with an introduction from Big Bang)

Katy Perry hit the stage looking like a Japanese prostitute from 'The gangbang memoirs of a geisha' and then subjected the audience to what I can only describe as the kind of vocals you'd expect from someone if they were to sing whilst pushing out big shits on the toilet. The whole performance was horrendous.


Artists were interviewed before and after the awards show. You can catch some of the videos below. Just click the images to be taken to the official MTV Japan site where the respective video will play. Don't worry. You won't get the old "This video can not be played in your country" f**kery that plagues MTV's US website and is currently ravaging YouTube.

Highlights include Thelma Aoyama looking FINE with her beehive do (teaching Sasha Fierce a thing or two and looking like a young Crystal Kay in the making), Katy Perry being so sweet and bubbly that I fell for her for a hot minute, EXILE's over tanned members looking like leather handbags, Verbal (of M-Flo and the Teriyaki boyz) looking absolutely ridiculous, and taking note of how BoA didn't change outfits and stayed wearing the same shit she sweated out on stage during her performance. Click and watch away!

As for the awards, the super cool Namie Amuro and the one member too many EXILE both walked away with 2 awards each. And on the Western front: Katie Perry came away with an award too, as did Nelly and Fergie for their collaboration "Party people". Unfortunately Namie wasn't in attendance. She was probably on her Best fiction tour, which feels as though it's been going on for years now.

The VMA's were pretty whack overall. The diversity of the acts was really cool. But overall, the show was pretty boring. The host Gekidan Hitori seemed to do a pretty good job though. Then again, I am baised - because I just love whatever that guy does. I just find him so stupid and funny.

It's a shame more wasn't done though. The space in which the show took place was HUGE, as was the stage. Yet none of the acts really took advantage of it. Ciara and Green day's simple performances worked brilliantly. But BoA and The Black eyed peas definitely could've done with some theatrics to help bring their stage games up.

From the VMA's are sucking in Japan, you know it's time for MTV to either pull the plug on the whole entire thing or work it from the ground up. Because what ever they've been doing for the past 5 years clearly isn't working.