Album review: Christina Aguilera - Bionic

Christina had teased and mentioned on numerous occasions how her Bionic album was a departure for her and was adopting a futuristic sound. And whilst at least three of Bionic's tracks give me that that vibe; most of the album leaves me pondering what is 'futuristic' to Christina, when so much of the album sounds outdated.

So let's start with the songs that actually showcase what I feel are implied to be 'futuristic'. The album title track "Bionic" sounds like Santigold. No bad thing. But for all of the loudness, over production and reggae 'n' ska influences that run for the songs' three and a half minutes, the track never feels like it's taking off. It would have been better as a one minute intro. "Elastic love" is "Bionic"'s other half and the better song of the two. But as cool as the song is, it really does stink of M.I.A. Christina's imitation of M.I.A is good. Almost too good to the point where you forget she's singing the song. "Bobblehead" sees Christina back on the Santigold swag. And who knew Christina Aguilera had mad flow?! A bitch can rap! These songs sounding M.I.A and Santigold-ish is no surprise, given they co-wrote the songs (Santigold is responsible for "Bobblehead" and "Monday morning", and M.I.A for "Elastic love") and that their partners in crime John Hill and Switch also produced them. They're not bad songs, and I have to give it to Christina for trying something different. But you won't remember them in the long run because they don't really sound like Christina at all. I would have much preferred more of "Monday morning", Christina being Christina on a song written by Santi and M.I.A, as opposed to Christina imitating M.I.A and Santigold on a song written by Santi and M.I.A.

Christina also dabbles with electro, and the results are plain bad. "Birds of prey" and "Little dreamer" are awful.The songs are not catchy, and Christina does not sound good singing them. I'm not sure what happened with these sessions. I would have thought electro pop producers behind the boards, Cathy Dennis on songwriting duties and a vocalist like Christina would yield magic. But, nope. I don't know how it went so wrong here. Truly.

Now let's talk about the uptempo stinkers. "Not myself tonight" is crap. It could have been more palatable if it had an actual chorus and a better bridge section. But the song is neither here nor there. If it comes on in the club, you'll dance to it and slut drop like your knees ain't bad. It is the perfect song to channel your inner whore. (I know I acted wrong to this song once or twice). But you won't be remembering it years from now. "Prima donna" and "Vanity" both sound like a cross between some left over song from a Timbaland Shock value album and bonus tracks from The Pussycat dolls. "I hate boys" and "My girls" are filler. If Christina was going to go the juvenile pop route for these two songs, she should have swallowed her 'I ain't doing what Britney do' pride and just gone to Max "If U seek Amy 'n' 3" Martin. Because both songs sound like rip-off's of his work over the past three years any way. And at least he would have penned one hell of a hook for Aguilera to work with. "I hate boys" starts off like Katy Perry's "I kissed a girl" and "My girls" sounds like a horrendous homage to The B-52's "Love shack".

Christina does come through on some of the uptempo's at the very least. "Woohoo" is nonsense. But it's wonderful nonsense. Christina's never done anything like this before (though not for want of fans trying to get her to) and she delivers. Nicki Minaj gets a guest spot on the song, and she does not waste a single bar. She genuinely sounds as though some dude is French kissing her pussy during the second half of her rap. "Woohoo" would have made a much better lead single than "Not myself tonight". The album version has the added bonus of being longer than the radio edit, and featuring a cool instrumental section at the end to which ladies can pop their woohoo to until a guy's hungry enough to stick his tongue in it. Most always are.

"Desnudate" rides the Spanglish train that has secured the likes of Pitbull a number 1 hit on the charts and mainstays in the clubs. Christina sounds amazing on this song. As with "Woohoo", it's a song about some fucking, but the beat (despite being much of what we've heard before) is absolute fire. Especially when things switch up towards the end. Tricky Stewart did an amazing job with the production to ensure the song never bores.

"Glam" is Christina's take on Madonna's "Vogue". At first, I did not like this song. But the vibe and how great Christina sounds on the song won me over eventually. Whilst "Glam" works and succeeds in its mission of being a queer club jam to strut and snap fingers to, it does feel like it's lacking something. There are pockets in the song where I feel there should have been more vocals, an extra verse or some beat switches. Once Christina's vocals echo out and you realise it's the end of the song, you're like 'Oh shit, is that it!?'. But "Glam" is still a damn good song. And whilst it certainly wasn't destined to be a lead single, it would make a good single late in Bionic's cycle.

Whilst the uptempo's are patchy, the slower numbers are more consistent. "Sex for breakfast" is the closest that fans of Stripped's "Lovin' me 4 me" and Back to basics' "Without you" we get here. It sounds out of place on the album though, given where it's sequenced. But it being so out of place night be the thing that helps it not get lost amongst songs that I feel will get more attention. Christina's vocals sound lovely here, as she always does on these types of songs.

"I am" is a nice evolution of Aguilera's hit "Beautiful", whilst "You lost me" is Bionic's definitive ballad. It's heartfelt. It's beautiful. it's tragic. it's as big as it needs to be. it is single material. The slow songs are nice, but have trouble standing out amongst the club filler and also, themselves. "All I need", "I am" and "You lost me" all bleed into a dreary sense of samey-ness. Sia and Samuel Dixon did a great job with bringing out Christina's vulnerabilities in a way only Linda Perry seemed to be capable of doing. Do not be surprised if Sia's name starts popping up with regularity in album credits from here on out. I bet Gwen Stefani and Beyoncé are already on the blower to their A&R's to book studio time with her after hearing "You lost me".

Christina has always avoided the usual suspect roster of producers who are hot at a given time. And whilst she caved to the likes of Tricky Stewart, I feel as though Christina could have gone to Bloodshy & Avant, Dr. Luke, Max Martin, Benny Blanco and Danja and gotten much better songs for Bionic; given most of the uptempo's sound like they're cut from cloths of their productions anyway. Sure, people would have called her out for working with a squad who worked with Britney. But the difference always would have been that Christina can SING. And that the producers have an artist which allows them to be versatile with their style, knowing she'll be able to sing absolutely anything they throw at her. Not to say that Polow Da Don and Tricky Stewart didn't do a good job with Christina, because they came through with "Woohoo" and "Desnudate". But I feel as though they squandered some of their chances with Christina. She's an artist who can sing anything. So why not raise the bar and give us something a little different and unique? And why is Switch's idea of Christina being unique having her sound like his protégé's, who aren't known for their voices? The songwriting on this album also doesn't feel up to scratch. All of the uptempo's are pretty much about the same thing and it wears thin. 'I wanna f**k. I'm the baddest bitch. I do what I like. Kiss my ass. F**k you. I'm drinking. I look good'. I adore that Christina had fun with writing these songs and she has a great chemistry with Claude Kelly, who co-wrote the majority of the songs with her. But did we really need so many of these types of tracks? People called out Beyoncé for "Diva" and "Video phone", but honest to God: some of the tracks on Bionic are no better. Some of them aren't even as good. The issue is not the subject matter. It's that there are one too many of these types of songs and they feel very one note after a while.

When you're checking for an artist who makes a conscious effort to steer from big name producers and zig when people expected you to zag for three albums (I'm including Mi reflejo to the list alongside Stripped and Back to basics - because Britney sure as hell couldn't sing in Spanish) I can't help but feel deflated that after three steered albums and 2 year gaps in-between releases, that Bionic is all that we got. Christina wanted to get the conformist club joints out of her system after ten years of avoiding them and that's fine. But I feel Christina may have missed the train of when most would be receptive to her doing this. 

Bionic sounds like an album Christina would have released years ago had she been more inclined to follow her peers. I'm not knocking Christina for going in a different direction back then, because it paid off. But when half an album you've put out in 2010 is sounding like something that should have released in 2003, you've got a bit of a problem.

The album also feels like an un-focused focus. You can hear Christina had a vision of what she wanted to do with the album, but the final tracklisting is so cluttered that Bionic feels like a bunch of different things which don't fit together. In true Christina fashion, she pads the album out too much. I like that a bitch doesn't do less than 15 tracks an album, but Christina needs to master the art of leaner tracklists. The extra songs just kill the direction of the project as a whole. It's honestly like Christina didn't know whether she wanted to go Urban, Euro-electro, alternative or pop - and at no point was able to make these styles meet in the middle and form a cohesive record. Stripped was overlong, but at least it managed to tie together nicely. I can't say the same about Bionic. You have half an album of club bangers and then slow songs (as good as they are) killing the pace. And then a bunch of whack uptempos tacked on at the end. If there was any album that called for an I am... Sasha Fierce style divide across two discs, it was this one. Not Back to Basics.

The only one aspect of this album I cannot fault is what Christina delivers vocally. She sounds amazing and has never played with her vocals the way she does on this album before. It's great that Christina has seen the light of less being more, because she honestly sounds better on the likes of "Desnudate" and "Glam" than she does on the songs where she belts her heart out. Louder does not equals better and Christina finally gets it.

Long time Aguilera fans will love the hell out of Bionic. And because the album is so hedonistic; girls and gay guys will go mad at the thought of how amazing the songs would sound in the club, and all the freaky shit they could do on the floor to the songs. But for those who have never really been hot on Christina, there's not much with this album that's going to sway you into buying it and becoming a fan.

Bionic is one of Christina's weaker albums. I prefer more of the songs on Bionic as opposed to Back to Basics. But as a body of work, Back to basics felt more considered and tied together as a whole. The vision was there for Bionic. And I like what I see. But the sound doesn't match the vision the way it should have.

Album highlights:

■ Woohoo
■ Elastic love
■ Desnudate ★ J's fave
■ Glam
■ I am
■ You lost me