Bonus material: Rihanna featuring Britney Spears - S&M (Remix)

In an odd chain of events, Britney features on a remix of The Forehead's "S&M". This song was hands down, tied up, throw away that damn key one of my favourite songs off of Loud. So my heart sank when I heard Britney was featuring on a remix. I knew I was going to be in for a treat which would wind up being about as good as having one of Britney's Starbucks, Nik-nak and pigeon doo-doo soaked Blackout wigs smouthered in my face.

If you ever wondered why Britney sung so monotone on Femme fatale and was auto-tuned for most of it, this shit should explain why.

Listen: S&M (Remix)

© 2011 The Island Def Jam music group, a Universal music group

What in the wig wearing non singing arse bitch mess is this shit!? "S&M" was perfect as it was! It needed NO remix. The Forehead can be one of the few people ever to say "Ya! I got Britney on a remix of my joint! Eh!" But with the end result being so terrible, it's something she may want to keep on the down low; along with what exactly happened in Breezy's Lambo last year and if Drake ever hit it from the back.

Britney not only sounds horrendous, but the lyrics in her verse are a mess. The whole thing sounds so fan made and badly put together, that I'm wondering whether it was mixed by a legit mixer or some dude who lost his fingers due to a yeast infection and had to turn knobs with his mouth and toes. This remix is just garbage. That red haired bitch and that dead blonde ho can got to hell with this mess.

The Forehead managed to out sing Shitney. But you could put a deaf parrot with a brain tumor on a song with Britney and it'd out sing her. It's not exactly difficult to do. So a goat who chews on wigs from the closet of Lion-O the Thundercat will have no problem. It's pretty sad that despite Shitney's strained vocals, I still felt her more on this remix than most of Femme fatale. At least I can hear a bitch was trying and that she had some fun. Fun which I'm sure Papa Spears did not agree with, and resulted in Britney being wrestled down in the studio whilst Adam Leber threw some pills in her mouth and Jason Trewick rubbing her neck to make sure that shit goes down and keeps a bitch docile. Pretty much like a dog in a vet's office.

I think I actually mentioned "S&M" in a post I made about Britney a while back. So it's quite weird (and horrifying) that she featured on its remix. Britney could redeem this mess by dropping "I wanna go" as her next single and dancing like it's 2003. But we know that she won't / can't, so that redemption shipped has sailed, gone head first into an iceberg and is goin' down like Mary J in '94.