Chart toppers perform at the 2011 Victoria's secret fashion show

The fashion show in support of anorexia otherwise known as the Victoria secret show had some performances from a couple of people you may have heard on the radio and be sick to death of now. I wasn't so distracted by the lingerie models lack of attire as I was their weight. Every one of these models look so damn frail. If one of them were to fall, they'd collapse into a pile of bones like the sketal Koopa Troopa's in Super Mario and just die. Anyway. Enough of the morbid-ness. Let's hate on some performances.

Jay-Z & Kanye West - N***a's in Paris

"N***a's in Paris" is my favourite song off of Watch the throne. I couldn't sing or rap you lines from any other song on that unnecessary ass album. I can barely remember anything about any other song on the it. Because Watch the throne for me was all about this one song. Fuck "Otis" and that "H.A.M" nonsense. I want to hear about how Jay-Z balls so hard, Kanye's Louis and Margiela and what n***a's do in Paris.

And to those who re on that whole Beyonce isn't pregnant speil. She SHO' looked pregnant to me. Look at her at 0:40. Chick looks like a brick house and there is a child inside of it.

Kanye was wrong for wearing those leather pants and I don't care who designed them and how many years of my life I'd need to work to afford them. They're horrid.

Maroon 5 - Moves like Jagger

I used to like this song. Now I wish it was dead. And Adam's vocals were not on point how they usually are. If X-Tina fans are wondering why this performance was void of her screaming at the end, it's because she fell behind the couch at the L.A launch party of Skyrim hunting for a melted cheese nacho that somebody had dropped. Home girls' still there now. Stuck like Garfield in a cat flap. Adam usually has this energy about him on stage that makes me want him to come drive to my house at night. But he didn't bring it here. He looked fed up and sounded about it too.

Nicki Minaj - Super bass

This performance was one of my faves. Mainly because of all the colours and shit. Nicki Minaj's live raps are usually messes because

1. She mimes (how the f**k can you be miming raps!?)
2. When she isn't miming she's shouting
3. She can't dance

The last point may be irrelevant for those towing the hard line of Why should she have to dance, she's a rapper!? But when you're a rapper putting out pop songs with choreographed steps in the video, then you need to be moving them bones on stage. And as we had witnessed in the "Super bass" video, this ho can't dance. And despite being Trinidadian and having an ass for days, weeks and months, the ho can't whine or pop her booty.

But her raps (at the start) sounded tight. There were colours and shit. And Nicki was swagging. I really don't care about no Lil' Kim right now. This performance was good fun. Deal with it. Don't waste time talking about Lil' Kim for no reason and go help a home girl out and buy a copy of La Bella Mafia or wire her a Paypal payment for a copy of her Black friday mixtape if you're really that pressed.