Ayumi Hamasaki to drop Party queen and sucker punch every female in J-Pop

Ayumi Hamasaki will be dropping a new album on March 21. Ayumi drops albums annually so this isn't even news. It's called Party queen. Yadda, yadda, yadda. F**k that. Let's instead focus on what the hell the Ayu is going to deliver with her first album post divorce and how this is going to turn Kumi Kehovah's life upside down, which has been the main focus of all of Ayu's releases ever since Kumi started pushing units and becoming an Oricon chart top 10 regular.

Japonesque has been under-performing sales wise, which is all the ignition Ayu needs to hit a studio and show a bitch how you get that money and keep on top of those sales. And with Kumi pregnant and having called off her tour, you can bet Ayu will be touring with Party queen until her hair falls out of her scalp. That's the only way this ho will lose hair. Because ain't nobody in Japan snatching that shit.

I'm frightened to see what Ayu is going to give with this album. Kumi Koda threw that gauntlet DOWN with a 19 track album featuring 17 music videos. Ayu is going to have to top this and make Kumi's CD + 2 DVD booklet pack of Japonesque look like a Tower records pre-order bag drop. I'm expecting Ayu and Avex to pull out an eleventh hour 3 DVD + CD + Blu Ray + B5 sized photobook + 3DS game card featuring Ayu's dance beat party extreme: Super neo stage for XX edition of this album.

This seems like a complete rush job having only been announced a couple of weeks ago before there was even a single. But Ayu will sell enough units to go straight into the Oricon charts at number 1 regardless.

Please kill me now. I'm genuinely looking forward to this shit. Mainly because I know it's going to put bitches under rugs. And with a title like Party queen, she can not be dropping an album with the low BPM's of Five and Love songs.