Ayu had a party and you were all invited. But you didn't go. D'ya know how I know this? Because Ayu only debuted on the ORICON album chart at number 2 - breaking her streak of debuting at number 1 on the ORICON daily with an album in her first week.
And in news which will please Kumi and her Kehovah's witnesses Farty queen managed to shift 97,691 in its first week, whilst Ploponesque managed to sell 93,835. But despite Ayu selling more units, Kumi still debuted at number 1. Which means Kumi is cackling in her penthouse suite and popping bottles with her vagina and considering signing up to twitter just to shade Ayu with some congratulatory tweets powered with nothing but side eye.
Whilst Avex initiate crisis talks over their rosters flopping on the charts (Namiserable's "Yeah-oh" also tanked), Hikaru Utada is sat at home playing Professor Layton on her 3DS laughing at all this shit, BoA is pushing back her Avex release indefinitely and Iconiq is sat at a McDonalds drive-thru window wondering why nobody gave two shits about her career and how she can make a living from her pictures on Instagram.
As for what Kumi Hoda, Namiserable and Robot face plan to do - Kumi plans to release some sappy ballad the day her spawn falls out of her vagina, Namiserable will drop that lackluster album followed by a tour to make that money she won't get from album sales and Ayu will drop a mini album by August to precede a marriage to another white man with whom she confuses leeching off of her to make a name for themselves with love. Po' thing.
Ayu stans. Please support your de-crowned queen by purchasing a copy of Party queen. The album is garbage. But don't let that stop you. It's not stopped you before. Although it may have this time. Buy it anyway.
And in news which will please Kumi and her Kehovah's witnesses Farty queen managed to shift 97,691 in its first week, whilst Ploponesque managed to sell 93,835. But despite Ayu selling more units, Kumi still debuted at number 1. Which means Kumi is cackling in her penthouse suite and popping bottles with her vagina and considering signing up to twitter just to shade Ayu with some congratulatory tweets powered with nothing but side eye.
Whilst Avex initiate crisis talks over their rosters flopping on the charts (Namiserable's "Yeah-oh" also tanked), Hikaru Utada is sat at home playing Professor Layton on her 3DS laughing at all this shit, BoA is pushing back her Avex release indefinitely and Iconiq is sat at a McDonalds drive-thru window wondering why nobody gave two shits about her career and how she can make a living from her pictures on Instagram.
As for what Kumi Hoda, Namiserable and Robot face plan to do - Kumi plans to release some sappy ballad the day her spawn falls out of her vagina, Namiserable will drop that lackluster album followed by a tour to make that money she won't get from album sales and Ayu will drop a mini album by August to precede a marriage to another white man with whom she confuses leeching off of her to make a name for themselves with love. Po' thing.
Ayu stans. Please support your de-crowned queen by purchasing a copy of Party queen. The album is garbage. But don't let that stop you. It's not stopped you before. Although it may have this time. Buy it anyway.
