2012 MTV VMAJ: The red carpet

The red carpet | MTV VMAJ 2012

Japan is known as one of the most fashion forward countries in the world. But this doesn't prevent the local icons from turning up to events looking like hot messes. The 2010 MTV Video music awards Japan brought the boys and the girls out, some of whom clearly didn't
  1. Check a mirror before they left the crib.
  2. Thought that wearing a designer outfit gets them a pass despite it looking a mess (For the record, it doesn't).
  3. Got dressed in the dark.
  4. Did their make up on a bus going 50 mph over speed bumps and pot holes.
Let's look at the hot and the hot messes of this year's VMAJ's. Perfume are not included in this list because you know they looked on point. And Namie Amuro isn't included because she couldn't be bothered to turn up.

J soul brothers on the red carpet | MTV Video music awards Japan 2012
Posing like a boy band like it's 1989
These dudes came out looking like Bell Biv Devoe in the 80's. Silk Autumn / Winter colour pallette suits in June 2012. REALLY!? And that n***a in the middle knows he's wrong for those suede ankle boots.

Karina on the red carpet | MTV Video music awards Japan 2012
The bag lady
Karina does her part for recycling to lower CO2 emissions by having plastic carrier bags stitched together to form the skirt of her dress. Mother nature loves this ho. This is the first time I have ever seen Karina in a dress. Every J-drama I've watched her in, she's either playing a tomboy or some dead beat who wears baggy flannel shirts and jeans.

2NE1 on the red carpet | MTV Video music awards Japan 2012
Pop culture killers
2NE1 should be turning up at an event looking respectable to win over the hearts of those in Japan. But instead they turn up looking like they got gangraped by every cartoon from the 90's, three Care bears and a NES cartridge - giving the whole of Japan more reasons to hate them and leave their their shit on the shelves of Tower records. There is nothing hot, cutting edge or nice about what these girls are wearing. And to make matters worse, they performed wearing THE SAME SHIT! All CL did was change her tights. Every other act on the red carpet changed clothes when they were performing or simply presenting an award. But not these girls. YG need to book 2NE1 a flight back to Korea. Not the South part. Dat raw as hell Northern part. Get the f**k outta Japan.

World order on the red carpet | MTV Video music awards Japan 2012
Strike a pose
Somebody forgot to tell World order this was a music award show. Not a cat walk for the latest Cool biz collection. Not one lick of fresh style on these guys. But the goofy poses won my heart. These dudes look fun. Unlike those EXILE n***as.

Daichi Miura on the red carpet | MTV Video music awards Japan 2012
Who let out the troll!?
He's hard to spot given he is 14 centimeters tall and the photographer forgot to put on their flash. But this is Daichi Miura. Look at the sex appeal and the swag. Your panties are probably soaked at the sight of this picture. I'll give you a minute to go and grab some tissues. I'm already sat here soaked like somebodies water just broke in my lap.

DJ Kaori on the red carpet | MTV Video music awards Japan 2012
DJ Kaori stole Kumi Kehovah's pregnancy dress, style and face. She needs to give them all back before she drops dat baby, the pregnancy weight and is mobile enough to smack a ho for this. Kumi is sat at home covered in cracker crumbs, cheese strings and last night's frosties and she's mad.

Kaneko Nobuaki on the red carpet | MTV Video music awards Japan 2012
I'll always have a thing for this dude after he ran game on Aibu Saki in Buzzer beat and exposed her as a trifling ho. He looks like a rat who got caught in the rain. But I bet he'd know how to flip a bitch and put it DOWN! The way he kissed girls in Buzzer beat was not politically correct for Japanese TV at all. He was shoving tongues down throats and grabbing titties.

Miss Ooja on the red carpet | MTV Video music awards Japan 2012
Go Jubei on a bitch
Miss Ooja looks like something I once fought in Onimusha 2. That chick with the Umbrella who kills Jubei's mother with a handbag by the lake.

Miliyah Kato on the red carpet | MTV Video music awards Japan 2012
Drop this ho
I'm not sure who told this trick that dressing up as Cervantes from Soul Calibur was hip, but Miliyah Kato needs to stop trying so hard to be a fashion trendsetter and start trying to focus on recording music which doesn't suck a red lantern. She's lost her mind with this KTZ Illuminati, devil worhispping, Lady Gaga Juju Judas priestess looking ass mess of a dress. How this trick got a gong for best R&B video, I will NEVER know.

EXILE on the red carpet | MTV Video music awards Japan 2012
Dead men walking
You might be hard pressed to find an ounce of personality or even talent amongst the men of EXILE. All of whom look like they're strangers to SPF sunblock and probabaly have skin cancer. They showed up to the red carpet looking like bouncers, when what they should have done was worn that Sengoku basura shit they wore in the "All night long" video - which by the way is the best video of 2012.

Beni on the red carpet | MTV Video music awards Japan 2012
Crazy girl
One thing Beni never gets enough credit for is her style game. And with this mess it's easy to see why. Turning up to a red carpet event in lounge-wear you bought from a mail order catalogue is not cool. Not in Japan, not in the UK, not even in the far recess of space where Thanos is looking down on this shit and thinking 'Lawd. Not even muh infinity gauntlet could save dis shit'. And 'NO'. I do not care that Rihanna showed up somewhere wearing this same outfit. To think Beni looked so fly when she was presenting an award too. I'm shaking my head ya'll. Shaking it like a Polaroid picture.

Juju on the red carpet | MTV Video music awards Japan 2012
Smile bitch
This woman goes platinum in 2009 and she thinks she can step onto red carpets giving side eye with her sour face!? Bitch, you ain't Adele. Namiserable has already shown you exactly what time it is. Stay down. Only Namie is allowed to look this miserable on the red carpet. And by the way: Fi from Skyward sword called. She wants her dress back.

Anna Tsuchiya on the red carpet | MTV Video music awards Japan 2012
That slap her boyfriend gave her in April seems to have transformed Anna into a real woman. She's been turning up to events on time with her hair did, looking all nice and shit ever since! Anna's music has been weak ever since Nudy show! But her style game has stepped up in a big way. Anna's always looked cool style wise. But has never looked nice nor elegant. But recently she's been looking slabs of both! I like to think Namie Amuro is responsible for this transformation. Anna saw the light on the set of "Wonder woman" and has never looked back. Namie be transforming lives in Japan. She should have her own island near Hokkaido somewhere.

2PM on the red carpet | MTV Video music awards Japan 2012
Wooyoung ain't born wid it. It is maybelline.
Junsu had to go and spoil the slickness with his jeans and kicks. That n***a is such a rebel. If he isn't wearing masks and shit, he be wearing trainers when everybody else is wearing shoes. I can't even hate on these guys, because 2PM are just a cool bunch of dudes. I'm even going to let Wooyoung's Siegfried and Roy jacket, his eye shadow and lip gloss slide.


  1. Okay first, hilariously written.

    Second, I think Juju kind of looked nice. -ducks-

    But honestly, my girls 2NE1 are a wreck.
    I love them, but Japan just isn't going to happen; ever.

    I'm surprised they all didn't photograph with Coke bottles in their hands; seeing as their families and careers were threatened by Coke if the bottles of the stuff so much as partially went out of the camera's view during the pre-red-carpet chat.

  2. OMG! Why 2ne1 still promoting in japan?, love them but those clothes gotta go, everybody knows than japan likes pretty and cute, no whatever their style is.
    You're so right probably they will never make it over there, so why bother.

  3. Karina showing that she can actually be a lady! Mad props. Jeans are hella comfy, but I like a cute dress too. I'm proud of her.

  4. I agree 2NE1 look disgusting, but i have to say I actually like what minzy's wearing i think she looks good, and I also like Dara's shoes...but thats about it, I know its a trend in japan at the moment to have dead animals around your neck, but WTF was that thing wrapped around Bom she always gets the worst outfits. 2pm looked okay though Taecyeon's trouser are too short and about inch away from becoming ankle swingers and i just don't get why korean men love shiny suits so much. But yes Daichi did look hot


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