Namie Amuro makes "Big boys cry". Kumi and Ayu also reach for a kleenex.

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What is going on!? A digital single a mere 4 months after Uncontrolled and now 2 months on we get a news of a new double A-side dropping in March!? I thought Vision factory had Namie's release schedule pace on lock. But clearly Avex is throwing money at n***a's there, because this quick succession of releases is unheard of for Namie. I will curb my shade at the quickness of the release, because:
  1. A snippet of one of the songs has dropped and it sounds hot
  2. Namie WILL be giving us Engrish on these tracks and I live for that shit
  3. Namie gives better results with no fucks than Kumi and Ayu do giving plenty. And we know Kumi gives PLENTY
  4. ♪ Hot gulls make li worl' go wound ♪
  5. Everybody gon' love these singles when they drop
"Big boys cry" / "Beautiful" will release on March 23. And as if the news alone wasn't enough, a short clip of "Big boys cry" can be heard in Namie's latest commercial for Esprique - in which she looks amazing, on point and certified wig snatch worthy.


This commercial was shot in Namie's office at Avex. Those papers she threw up into the air = Ayu's contract.

After catching a bullet train out of the Urban sector for Uncontrolled, she's JR lined her way back into it like it's 2007. This shit sounds like it was recorded circa her Play era. I grew to like Uncontrolled and had no problem with her going pop and electro. I rather liked that Namie came full circle with the genre of music that made her in the first place. But I know a lot of fans were wanting her to throw her shit back to urban crub bangers and she's done that now for at least one song. So ya'll can shut up.

I'm just glad that this single features at least 13 seconds of decency after the mess that was "Damage". I have zero love for that song. I give Avex my full blessing to omit it from any album of hers which comes next.

I hope Namie has her dancing shoes on and that Vision factory is putting up dolla, because I need to see a 60s 70s 80s budget for this video and for the choreography to be on that "Yeah oh!" and "Naked" tip.

Namie is like that spiky blue shell from Mario Kart which just fucks up your whole game from the back of the pack. Kumi and Ayu thought they stood a chance and that Namie wouldn't release anything for a good while...and then this all happened.



♪ I do what I want. I do what I like. You say it loud and telly big boys cly!! ♪