Ayumi Hamasaki to drop Party queen and sucker punch every female in J-Pop

Ayumi Hamasaki - I am party queen | Ayu meme image created by Random J

Ayumi Hamasaki will be dropping a new album on March 21. Ayumi drops albums annually so this isn't even news. It's called Party queen. Yadda, yadda, yadda. F**k that. Let's instead focus on what the hell the Ayu is going to deliver with her first album post divorce and how this is going to turn Kumi Kehovah's life upside down, which has been the main focus of all of Ayu's releases ever since Kumi started pushing units and becoming an Oricon chart top 10 regular.

Japonesque has been under-performing sales wise, which is all the ignition Ayu needs to hit a studio and show a bitch how you get that money and keep on top of those sales. And with Kumi pregnant and having called off her tour, you can bet Ayu will be touring with Party queen until her hair falls out of her scalp. That's the only way this ho will lose hair. Because ain't nobody in Japan snatching that shit.

I'm frightened to see what Ayu is going to give with this album. Kumi Koda threw that gauntlet DOWN with a 19 track album featuring 17 music videos. Ayu is going to have to top this and make Kumi's CD + 2 DVD booklet pack of Japonesque look like a Tower records pre-order bag drop. I'm expecting Ayu and Avex to pull out an eleventh hour 3 DVD + CD + Blu Ray + B5 sized photobook + 3DS game card featuring Ayu's dance beat party extreme: Super neo stage for XX edition of this album.

This seems like a complete rush job having only been announced a couple of weeks ago before there was even a single. But Ayu will sell enough units to go straight into the Oricon charts at number 1 regardless.

Please kill me now. I'm genuinely looking forward to this shit. Mainly because I know it's going to put bitches under rugs. And with a title like Party queen, she can not be dropping an album with the low BPM's of Five and Love songs.

14 comments:

  1. "That's the only this ho will lose hair."

    May need the word "way" in there haha

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  2. http://www.cdjapan.co.jp/detailview.html?KEY=AVZD-38500

    Bitch is coming with a CD+3DVD, a bonus DVD, and a "special bonus item". 200 USD/135 GBP. BOOM.

    On a different note, I'm excited for this album. She performed "Party Queen" at her Countdown Live concert this year, and it was hot as fuck. She's coming for Kumi's wig for sure.

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    1. *99999 HP damage. All wigs fall to the floor*

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  3. It's CD+5DVD! HOLY SHIT! Ain't no wigs funna survive this.

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  4. Not trying to be a pessimist but Ayu has not impressed me musically in YEARS. Every time hype builds up for her albums whether it be the killer photoshoots, magazine promotions, etc., I'm left underwhelmed once the album leaks. And this happens almost every single time this chick drops an album. So I'm not holding my breath for "Party Queen".

    But I hope to God that his album sounds better and more cohesive than Kumi's 'Japonesque'. That album was total garbage. What a complete letdown.

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    1. I'm glad there' s one other person with sense in this world. Everyone kept calling flopenesque flawless, and I thought it was flaw filled and utter graph. I've never been big on ayu. Occasionally she will drop a song I like( literally Like one song per album), but that's about it.

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  5. Oh no, is Japonesque flopping? Damn. I really like that album.

    I still can't get into Ayu even though I try. It's mostly her voice, it just...

    Anyway I don't have Ayu's albums except FIVE and the 3-disc A Complete. I go through A Complete occasionally when I'm in the mood to try get into Ayu, but the J-Rock songs are the only ones I love, which is funny because I don't like J or K-Rock that much.

    Anyway I'm sure Ayu's concept will not be better than Kenai & Koda a.k.a Ongina's Japonesque concept because that was FLAWLESS. And even when KK ripped off Ayu's Rock 'n' Roll Circus concept, she did it better.

    Anyway I noticed you haven't posted on the return of AKB48's Dance & Vocal unit DiVA. The Queens are back with their third single "Lost The Way", due out in March. It's their first release since adding six new members to the group.

    http://youtu.be/cTEvqyUm5Dc

    I hate the new song but I still stan for them.

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    1. Kumi did NOT out do @Rock n roll circus@ lmao, that album cover was a cake and clock strewn mess.

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    2. The British concept Ayu used was hideous!

      Kumi's cake was stunning and snatched wigs.

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  6. I liked japonesque! Sure she culda done 4 good music vids instead of 30, but hey, a little more than half the songs were decent!

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  7. ''This seems like a complete rush job having only been announced a couple of weeks ago before there was even a single.'' Well i can assure you this is not a rush job because she started recording and writing these songs last year. A couple of months ago she was in London and recorder the album there. I wonder what Ayumi will bring out this time. I sure hope there are a lot of uptempo songs on this album. I've been waiting for them a good time now.

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  8. J, have you seen the official covers? I like yours better... LOL

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  9. You really need to put the official covers on your site. You'll probably have a good laugh. I think she's trolling though. Timmy, one of her composers posted this:Does NE1 have any fxxxxxg idea what a PARTY QUEEN is? The irony? The tragedy? The coruscating truth? The lie? The aftermath? The ideal? / Just stop and think, is all I can say. Think about it. Think what it could mean. Take your own longing for something pretty and aspirational and simple and comforting, and slit its throat. Think about the shadow behind the light. Think about the pain behind the smile. Ask yourself as as Ayu fan, if you want her to fulfill your desire, or drag you somewhere where your desires are just the beginning.

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