The Cowboy Carter Tour has been announced. The Bey Hive prepares to be broke and plan their summer around Beyoncé.

In news which has surprised absolutely nobody, Beyoncé has just announced her Cowboy Carter Tour. And respectfully, she can go to hell. My funds are too insufficient for this shit and I did not want to be fighting Ticketmaster in 2025.

This announcement was originally planned for January 14th. But due to the Los Angeles fires, it was postponed. And with Beyoncé having so many Grammy nominations and word getting out that she would be at the ceremony, many figured that the weekend of the Grammy Awards is when the announcement would drop, and ‘drop’ it did.

At time of posting, there are no dates for this tour or when the tickets will go on sale. But I would not put it past Surpriseyoncé for the tickets to go on sale either during the Grammys or next week. Part of me wonders if when the red button gets pushed is dependent on whether her Cowboy Carter album wins the coveted Album of the Year. If it does, the red button gets pushed right after Yeehawyoncé’s win. If it doesn’t, the red button is getting pushed next week. As for when the tour will run, it’ll probably be during the Summer, just like the Renaissance World Tour.

Something I couldn’t help but notice is that the word ‘World’ is omitted from the name of the tour. It is just the Cowboy Carter Tour. Not the Cowboy Carter World Tour. The locations the tour will be stopping at has been revealed and it’s not stopping in as many places, which could be the reason why. But I’m all for people not calling every tour a world tour, when it’s actually not a world tour. People have been very vocal about this for a while now. World tours used to be ACTUAL world tours. But now, acts be acting like South America, Australia and Japan don’t exist. If an artist does a stop in any country aside from America nowadays, they call it a world tour. It’s messy and misleading and it does need to stop. The Renaissance World Tour was not a world tour. So perhaps Beyoncé figured ‘Actually...they’re right’.

But I also wonder if this tour featuring less stops is a creative choice. Not only is Cowboy Carter a very America-centric album in subject matter and theme, but Star-Bangled Yoncé probably isn’t going to be able to shove a bunch of the hits into the setlist. Even the Renaissance World Tour was pretty light on singles and classics, but its setlist still featured “Crazy in Love”, “Run the World (Girls)”, “Love on Top”, “Drunk in Love” and “Formation”. I can’t see Sephirothyoncé throwing these into the Cowboy Carter tour setlist too, nor can I see her opting to go for singles and hits which weren’t included, such as “Single Ladies (Put a Ring On It)” or that goddamned “Halo”. The Cowboy Carter Tour setlist will probably get “Irreplaceable” and “If I Were a Boy”...and that’s about it. The other inclusions will probably be album cuts (I’m crossing my fingers for “Smash Into You” and “That’s Why You’re Beautiful”).

So perhaps Hityoncé is wondering ‘Why take this tour to as many places as I did before, just to have a bunch of people show up and wonder why I ain’t performing all the hits?’. The fans won’t give a damn. But a large cross section of the turnout for the Renaissance World Tour were not just fans, and fans hated this shit, because it made it harder for them to get tickets. There was a huge number of people who just wanted to see Beyoncé, because it’s Beyoncé, despite not being fans. And there were also those who only got into Beyoncé through Renaissance. And we’re probably going to see a similar thing here. Bey hive members in America are gonna be buckin’ again, because the way “Texas Hold ‘Em” brought hella RGB (255, 255, 255) casuals and non fans out in their fuckin’ cowboy boots and hats!? Good luck. And to be surrounded by white people wearing stars and stripes? In this economy!? During y’alls current presidency!!? Thoughts and prayers.

When attending the Renaissance World Tour, I feel like I missed out by not dressing up. So in the event that I manage to get tickets to the Cowboy Carter not-a-World Tour, I think I’m going to make an effort. And by effort I mean, just a cowboy hat.

And much like the Renaissance World Tour, I’m sure the Cowboy Carter Tour will get a film. Given this tour will be visiting fewer places, a film will be all the more necessary.

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💿 Beyoncé album reviews: B’Day | I Am... Sasha Fierce | 4 | Beyoncé | Lemonade | The Lion King: The Gift | Renaissance | Cowboy Carter

🎛️ Beyoncé mashups: Beyoncé x Brandy | Beyoncé x Baby D featuring Doechii | Beyoncé x Crystal Waters | Beyoncé x Victoria Monét | Beyoncé x Jessie Ware | Beyoncé x RuPaul | Beyoncé x Armand van Helden | Beyoncé x Girls’ Generation | Beyoncé x Hyeoyeon | Beyoncé x Stevie Wonder