Album review: Britney Spears - Britney Jean

The one thing Britney kept saying when she was plugging her 8th studio album Britney Jean was how personal it was. "Work bitch" - a song about sipping Martini's and driving Lamborghini was perhaps the wrong lead single to drop in a bid to declare how personal and intimate your new album is, unless you're a Charlie's angel, but Britney kept plugging it as her most personal set yet. This statement was something which carried some slight weight to it upon the release of "Perfume" and the leaks of "Passenger" and "Alien". But upon listening to Britney Jean in its entirety you can't help but question why Britney told such bare faced lies, when this album is in fact no more personal than anything we've heard from her before. Well, with the exception of Femme fatale; which despite being panned, happens to come out as the better album here.

The subject matter on Britney's albums have always been pretty vapid, but at least the song subjects are varied. This was something which was completely dashed for 2011's Femme fatale, which was pretty much 10 songs of Britney singing about how bad she wants some sex. Britney Jean dials down on the nympho lyrics, but is left with not a great deal to say - leaving you wondering if there is in fact anything to Britney if you strip away the sex. Match this with Britney sounding as though she can't be bothered to sing half of the songs and you have an even more difficult time believing in what she's singing, despite being a credited song-writer on every single song. This album marks the complete decomposition of Britney as an artist and a pop commodity.

Britney's albums have always been unique unto her in the sense that she's always owned the songs. Nobody else could replicate them in the same way as Britney. Many other artists have a better voice than she does, but they can never out do her on her own songs because of her distinct tone. But Femme fatale marked the first album of Britney's where the songs felt like anybody songs. The production was as glossy and as close to perfection as you could get. But anybody could have been given those songs and the same goes for Britney Jean. You could not give "Oops!...I did it again" to just anyone. You could not give "Toxic" to just anyone. You could not give "Gimme more" to just any one. But every single song on Britney Jean could be sung by any artist and sound better because there is no sense of ownership when Britney sings any of the songs. None of the material on this album feels as though it was tailored for Britney in any way shape or form. There is no defining song or moment on the album which it make it stand as a shining moments in Britney's discography. Britney's albums were never ones to pander to trends. They were always the albums which set them for the competition and the upcomers. When she debuted with "Oops!...I did it again" every girl in pop was releasing a song with a similar sound and booking flights to Stockholm to try and get into the studio with Max Martin. When she came out with "I'm a slave 4 U". Every girl was trying to go Arabi-urban. When Britney dropped "Toxic", every chick had Bollywood strings and guitars on a track. When Britney surprised the world with Blackout, everybody was jumping on the electro-pop bandwagon. Even Femme fatale contributed something to the world of pop, all thanks to "Hold it against me" being one of the first songs from a mainstream pop artist to feature an element of dubstep. But nothing on Britney Jean sticks or feels musically definitive. Every song is a piece of derivative tripe, which serves no purpose other than fulfilling will.i.am's own selfish desires to produce a Britney record.

Britney had become a non-entity quite some time ago, but Britney Jean is another nail in the coffin. She doesn't feel relevant to anything any more. She's not setting any standards. She's not setting any trends. All of her peers around her are out doing her at every turn and it's making her, as she stands right now, look irrelevant. It's a sad state of affairs that an artist who had such a twinkle in her eye and was releasing bulletproof singles and solid albums is now putting out such vacuous material.

"Tik tik boom" is the only song on the album which has crossover hit potential, reminds me of hot Britney and is some-what of a nod to Blackout (the album with the sound we've all been hoping Britney would revist). Britney is singing about wanting the dick (the chorus quite-possibly-intentionally sounds as though she is singing 'Dick' as opposed to 'Tik') and she doesn't sound wholly convincing. But she gives some "Oops!...I did it again" ad-libs towards the end and the song is a banger. If Britney wants a hit, she may have one here if she can be bothered to dance a routine and give more than one vacant stare into the camera for the music video. The lyrics are awful and T.I's rap is some nonsense, but I can't deny the beat drop on the hook. I have visions of fly In the zone Britney when I hear this song. God bless her soul.

"Alien", "Perfume" and "Passenger" are all good songs which set the tone for what this album should have actually been - but these moments are too few and non-conclusive. None of these songs go anywhere and end prematurely; short of a middle-8, a breakdown or a bridge section. Every other song is just a piece of dance tripe, sounding like the dime a dozen dance records that David Guetta and will.i.am have trotted out over the past 3 years. None of these producers had Britney's interests at heart or were considering the well being of her sound when they cut these records for her. All they seemed to care about is being able to say they had produced for Britney Spears and tick her name off of a list. It's a shame, because Britney has been able to work so many different sounds over the course of her career and has managed to reign in the majority of them and sell them. So for veterans such as will.i.am and David Guetta to take an icon like Britney and side line her with such shitty material which sounds like every other song on the radio was a selfish error in judgement on their parts.

One of the biggest mistakes Britney's A&R and management could have done was to have let will.i.am.a.piece.of.shit executive produce this album. He essentially stripped out all of the talent who could have delivered something worthwhile. Rodney Jerkins who is was responsible for Femme fatale's best tracks which never truly were ("Don't keep me waiting" and "He about to lose me") had hit the studio with Britney, just to have his songs scrapped. Danja who was the driving force behind Blackout (one of Britney's best albums) and Circus' highlight "Kill the lights" had his material scrapped. Dev Hynes who has been producing perfection for ladies in pop as of late (Solange's "Losing you", Sky Ferreira "Everything is embarrassing" and Mutya Keisha Siobhan's "Flatline") also had his Britney songs scrapped. Either will.i.am wanted to be the only black dude producing on this record, or he just didn't have a clue what would have made a good Britney record in the first place. I think it's both. The talent who were steering this album in the right direction are the ones who were marginalised. It also fuels more of the fire that Britney still isn't truly in control of her career and that she's surrounded by people who don't care enough about her to steer her right or let her make her own decisions. It's rather telling that the one album Britney executive produced by herself at a time when nobody was telling her what the fuck to do ended up being her best, even with minimal songwriting input from her.

Britney Jean is bad. Not the Michael Jackson good type of bad. But bad as in damn terrible. As with Femme fatale it's a case of one aspect of Britney being more on form than the other. On Femme fatale the production was tight, but every song was about the same thing, Dr. Luke gave her the same sound he gives every artist he produces for who has a Fallopian tube and Britney phoned in every single vocal 'performance'. Britney Jean has Britney sounding a little more raw vocally and playing around with her range, but she sounds so controlled that her delivery comes off cold - much in the same way Madonna's did from American life onward. Hitting all of the rights nights, but void of any true feeling.

This album is characterless and completely vapid of any heart or hits. Britney says she wanted to give people a sense of who she is with this album, but the issue here is that we know no more about Britney now than we did before. And the aspects of Britney's life and persona we want to hear more about, seem to have been locked in a vault or suppressed so far deep inside of her that you'd have to send a search party to find them.

Verdict: You bedda work harder bitch

Album highlights:
■ Alien
■ Perfume
■ Tik tik boom 🔥