Music video: Crystal Kay prepares to "Rule your world" in her bra and panties

R&B / Pop loving J-starlet Crystal Kay has released her second 'international single' and has somehow managed to shatter all of the promise I was sold in the behind the scenes video of the video shoot. "Rule your world" is one big let down.

Crystal's previous single "Busy doing nothing" was slated for being too pedestrian, too Summer for a February release and not being a good representation of Crystal musically. Fans for quite some time have also been wanting Crystal to release an R&B flavoured single after abandoning them for several years. It seemed that "Rule your world" would be the redemption, but it falls considerably shorter than "Busy doing nothing", with a lacklustre song which has a horrendous rap and a shitastic music video.

The song is completely anti-climactic. It builds to nothing and there is no sense of progression or organic evolution within the song itself. No additional melodies are introduced. Each run of the chorus sounds exactly the same. There is an utter lack of vocal production and layering to help smooth the song out and play up the seductiveness. In short, the song feels incomplete and a result, underwhelming. Crystal's rap is also awful. She goes from a cooing temptress to a middle aged woman shouting offers at Tsukiji market. It's nowhere near as cool or as niche as Crystal thought it was. Whoever thought it was a good idea for Crystal to throw a rap about set menu specials in a song about wanting to give some good nookie should have their foot in a pair of open toe Birkenstocks run over by a bicycle. It makes Hikaru Utada's 'Your easy breezy and I'm Japanesey' line from "Easy breezy" sound like a classic lyric.

Despite Crystal's body looking on absolute point and parading around a house in lingerie, the video isn't sexy at all. There is no chemistry between Crystal and her milk of magnesia break-off. Their bed scenes were about as stiff as the barricade blocking Crystal from any hint of commercial success. I've seen pigeons sitting in nests give me more sex appeal than I got in this video. The video itself is so badly shot and edited that I thought I was watching brothel re-enactment footage shot for an episode of 60 minutes.

If Crystal Kay wants a hit, then she's gonna have to holla at Solange in an elevator, because she is not catching shit with this song right here.