Music video: Kyary Pamyu Pamyu gets crunk for Halloween with "Crazy party night ~Pumpkin no gyakushuu~"

I am beginning to see cracks in Pamyu Pamyu's pastel coloured veneer and worn edges in her wigs. None of the songs she has released post Nanda collection have been that great, with the exception of "Yume no hajima ring ring". No amount of riding on a Bullet Bill over the mushroom Kingdom and chilling with hipster Bowser can mask Pamyu Pamyu not being on her shit how she used to be.

Listen to... Janet Jackson - Unbreakable

Janet Jackson - Unbreakable | Random J Pop

Over the course of Janet's career she has delivered performances where it's incredibly evident that she and Michael are cut from the same cloth. We can now add "Unbreakable" is another one of those moments. Sure, it's a song title that Michael had used for the opening song of his final studio album Invincible. But that is just sheer coincidence. What is not a coincidence is how Janet's "Unbreakable" sounds like something that went unreleased from the Off the wall sessions and sounds like something he would put out if he were still alive. That's just the name and the sound of the song, let alone Janet's vocals. You best believe Michael is turning that weave OUT in his grave to this jam.

Music video: Crystal Kay & Namie Amuro (struggle to) start a "Revolution"

Crystal Kay's new album should be called ABT. A bitch tried. Because between her 2014 attempt at US pop stardom, her first single in 2015 being a J-drama tie in (which is often a sure fire way of catching a hit) and her follow up "Revolution" featuring the Queen of Miserable, she really is trying.

I never would have expected Crystal Kay and Namie Amuro to collaborate and I'm not sure what I was expecting upon hearing the news that they would be. Either way, their gung-ho effort is lukewarm and forgettable. I don't dislike the song, but it sorely lacks that spark for me to dig it. "Revolution" needed a much stronger chorus, stronger vocal production, a rap from Aklo or Verbal of M-Flo and a greater sense of progression overall. I also feel that this perhaps should have been a Namie Amuro song featuring Crystal Kay. Crystal doesn't own the song and sell it in the same way I feel Namie does; purely because Namie has done this type of song before and its much more within her realm than Crystal's. "Revolution" easily could have been a song for _genic and it may have worked a little better if it had.

Music video: The Wonder girls return as a quartet and channel 80s Robert Palmer realness for "I feel you"

The 80s seems to be a decade many female K-Pop acts are pulling from at the moment. Girls' generation with "Party", Sistar with "Shake it" and Stellar with "Vibrato" to name a few. But none have managed to pull it off quite like the Wonder girls have. They have not parodies the 80s. They have embodied it completely to such a point that you could play this song and video to somebody who is not plugged into K-Pop, tell them this song is from the 80s and they would not think twice that it was released in 2015. Because the authenticity is THAT damn real.

Music video: Lana Del Rey goes GTA on a helicopter in "High on the beach"

Lana Del Rey's music video for "High on the beach" is nonsense. But it's nonsense that will inevitably become a pop parody and secure a place in pop music video history and be the 'aesthetic' for many of her fans. Why? Because it features Lana pulling out some Gears of war looking-ass gun and shooting down a helicopter in flesh coloured pumps, a maxi dress and a cardigan. Bitch is not playing around with the paps.

I wasn't so concerned at Lana shooting down a helicopter as I was as to why Lana wore a black bra underneath a white dress. But maybe that's just me.

Perfume perform at a Japanese music festival wearing Soul Calibur DLC outfits

Perfume perform at the Japanese music festival METROCK wearing Soul Calibur DLC outfits | Random J Pop

As has become somewhat customary for the Hiroshima royalty that is Perfume, the trio performed at the Japanese music festival METROCK and had the entire crowd head banging for their lives and the holy ghosts of their deceased relatives.

As always, Perfume hit their marks perfectly and did not miss a beat nor a step. But they looked awful. I was not here for the Soul Calibur, Xianghua tribute outfits. I honest to God miss the good old Triangle and Game days when these girls hit stages looking like they had some form of style and somebody had a fuck to give their hair and their shoe game.

The set list consisted of Nocchi's solo single "Pick me up", "Seventh heaven" and the EDM classic "Party maker".

Music video: Janet Jackson says she ain't getting "No sleeep", but be looking like she's been in cryostatis for 22 years

Janet has got some fucking nerve. Going on a 7 year hiatus during which time we barely saw the bitch, and then surfacing out of nowhere at the BET awards looking like a Cocoa butter goddess. She has some nerve.

Then just as fans are recovering from that moment, she drops a video of herself walking around a house serving "If" weave realness; fully clothed and looking sexier than she did when she was showing 6 packs and titties. Dis bitch.

Hikaru Utada gives birth to her child. Nobody even knew she was pregnant.

Hikaru Utada gives birth to her child. Nobody even knew she was pregnant. | Random J Pop

Hikaru updated her blog to drop two bombshells that left her fans in varying states of shock, happiness and baldness.

The first bombshell is that Hikaru is a mother. Hikaru is now a mother and has a son. I had no idea the woman was even pregnant. This just goes to show how seriously Hikaru takes her hiatus. Home girl went so far off the grid that the Spidey-sense of her deceased mother didn't even pick up on her daughter being pregnant. After the release of "Sakura nagashi" many wondered if Hikaru was beginning to feel broody and suspected that perhaps she was ready to staart a family and WHOOP! There it is. She's a mother now.

Listen: LIZ and SOPHIE drop their pop bop "When I rule the world"

Liz - When I rule the world (Produced by SOPHIE) | Random J Pop

LIZ has been releasing free music and dropping songs here and there for a while, but she may have finally struck the port key that sends her head first into the mainstream with "When I rule the world". Not only is it produced by London pop producer SOPHIE notable for his involvement in QT's "Hey QT" and more recently Namie Amuro's album cut "B who I want 2 B", but the song is also featured in Samsung's GIF inducing video for their Galaxy S6 phone.

"When I rule the world" is completely different from the R&B and 90s Garage loving LIZ we had heard on her EP Just like you. But it is in greater keeping of her overall persona than anything she had done before. It's one of her first songs where we get some sense of her personality. Do not get me wrong. I LOVED LIZ's Just like you EP. But there was nothing in any of the songs that really made LIZ herself stand out. The songs had character, but this all came through in the production, and was never channelled through her.

LIZ makes no secret of how much she loves Sailor Moon, Hello Kitty, Kyary Pamyu Pamyu, Glitter, Unicorn, Care bears, old school Britney and all that shit. Her work with SOPHIE sits synonymously with this, making their union a match made in PC music heaven. "When I rule the world" gives LIZ a lot of bandwidth to really play up and sell herself it in ways none of her previous material allowed her to.

Music video: Yun*chi's "Lucky girl" = Sounds like M-Flo + Looks like Kyary Pamyu Pamyu

There's a new girl on the Tokyo block with limited vocal talent and her name is Yun*chi.

Three singles deep into her career at time of writing and she's already sipping on that formula to moderate success that can lead on to bigger things if you play your cards right, and in some cases suck the right willy. Yun*chi is looking cute, working a bit of fashion and has dropped a song that I for one would get low to if I were to hear it in a club and / or in the vicinity of a pole.

"Lucky girl" is produced by Taku Takahashi, who is that quiet guy with the crusty lips from M-Flo. It's almost a shame that this song was crafted exclusively for Yun*chi, as it's this Astromantic and Beat space nine type of vibe I wish M-Flo would go back to for their albums. Ever since Verbal started focusing on his fashion line full time and DJ Taku started enjoying his life as a music taste-maker and DJ, collectively they did not have enough scraps of a fuck to give their albums. Square one and The future is wow were both absolute rubbish.

Yun*chi is produced by Asobi system, who also look after the careers of Kyary Pamyu Pamyu and Capsule. The video visually baring a resemblance to Pussy Pam's "Furisodation" is merely a coincidence. But it's an interesting titbit none the less. It would not surprise me if Yun*chi's follow up single were produced by Yasutaka Nakata. Pussy Pam would not have it though. There is not enough room on the scene for another wig, contact lens wearing chick swaying her hips to Nakata productions. Pusha P will end Yun*chi's life. Do not let the age, the lack of vocal talent and the primary coloured dresses fool you. Kyary will have you thrown in a trunk and driven off into the night if you fuck with her shit. Yun*chi needs to tread her ass real carefully.

Listen: Brayton Bowman keeps it "Real"

If you are following MNEK on Twitter and Instagram, then chances are you will know of Brayton Bowman - who is not only a fellow singer / songwriter, but also happens to be MNEK's boyfriend. The two of whom have been making sweet music together in the literal sense, blending Brayton's take on soul with MNEK's sharp production.

MNEK had co-written and co-produced Brayton's song "Skin deep" which was released in March of this year and had also been the one pulling the strings and twiddling the knobs on Brayton's acclaimed refix of Britney's "...Baby one more time". Now as Brayton steps out with his new single "Real", a quick scan at the credits will reveal MNEK's involvement, yet again.

"Real" is a song about people who are anything but. We all know these types. We work with these types. Some of us are even friends with these types. But you'll be forgiven for not really taking in the subject matter of the song, because once the chorus drops and the beat pops off you may be pre-occupied with rocking your head back and forth or hitting that nae nae.

Music video: Namie Amuro's "Golden touch" video is not the MJ "Remember the time" realness I was expecting

I had pinned all hopes on the music video to "Golden touch" serving Michael Jackson "Remember the time" realness. So when Namie gave me Android live wallpapers for 4 minutes I was initially disappointed.

After my initial outbursts of Ws, Ts and Fs, I had a moment to collect my thoughts. I came to the conclusion that I actually quite like the music video for "Golden touch". It's charming. It's quirky and it goes against the expectation of what many of us had for this video. For better and for worst.

But I would be lying if I said that I didn't still want to see Namie dance in the Versace family crypt, and witness her put the pussy on a man and turn him to gold.