The day Beyoncé imploded the world and crashed iTunes

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The day Beyoncé imploded the world and crashed iTunes | Random J pop

On Friday December 13th 2013, Beyoncé came through in the night whilst half of the hemisphere was asleep like the ghost of Wigmas past and snatched every person whilst they were sleeping.

I tweeted on Thursday night (in the wake of Beyoncé announcing new tour dates for 2014) that her fifth studio album was a myth and would never see the light of day. I woke up on Friday to find she had already released the blasted thing. Not a new single. Not just an album. But an album with 14 brand new tracks and 17 music videos. No title. Not even an album cover.

Beyoncé taught the world several things on this day:
  1. Broads in the pop game need to stay on their fucking toes
  2. Beyoncé is capable of snatching a wig from an iTunes sever
  3. She's a grown woman. She can do whatever she wants
Many people went to bed, completely oblivious that they would be waking up with alopecia.

Everybody can say what they like about how terrible the album is and how much they hate this woman. But the way she dropped this album of hers, managed to keep it a complete secret and spring no leaks is to be applauded. It is now a moment in pop history because the whole thing is so unprecedented. Nobody has stealth-snatched on this scale before. There are very few pop stars today who could release an album unannounced with no pre-awareness, no single and no promo and manage to break records and crash iTunes.

The NDA's for this album must have stated death as apenalty for anybody who said a word about it. Beyonce keeps her shit secret and on lock andkey until she says so. The Knowles do not play with the gate keeping of information. Feds may want to check under the floor boards of that family home in Houston.

For Beyoncé to record an album, shoot 17 videos (all of which look decent and not rushed to fuck and samey like those B’day videos) whilst she was on a world tour is just insane.

Fraud. Bitch. Derivative ho. Whatever you want to call her. Beyoncé pulled an ace with this album release regardless. The way Beyoncé packaged this album and the amount of hysteria she caused with it is every thing Gaga was hoping she'd get, but didn't with Artpop. Beyoncé showed her ass.

Album review, coming soon.