Met Gala Fantasy MMXVIII

So, the Met gala theme this year was Heavenly bodies, which was a can of worms for problematic outfits and the disrespecting of Jesus. But as has been the case for years, barely anybody bothered to actually dress according to theme. The minimum attendees could have done to be on theme this year was to just wear something with a cross on it and most didn't even do that.

As has become customary for me during the Met gala arrivals, I only check-in to see what Zendaya and Rihanna are going to turn up in. Lo and behold, neither bitch disappointed and both turned up looking like RPG party members.

When I scanned through the looks of those who bothered to dress on theme, everybody was looking like characters out of an RPG which I've titled Met Gala Fantasy MMXVII. Below are the characters of this fashionable adventure of shade, treachery, Religion and divine wigs.

RiRi

A white mage who was granted the ability to resurrect as a result of her constantly killing with her looks. Her special ability is Fentasia, which magically snatches the edges of her opponents, there-by weakening their defences.

Zenslaya

One of the 12 Knights of the Wig. Sworn protector of the ancient text of The religion, which are under the threat of being overwritten by generations of problematic Popes who hope to shape The religion in their own image.

LeBelcalis

Born in Urbs Novum Eboracum, LeBelcalis was made a Divine Guardian by the Gods. One mortal every generation is granted the power to call on the Divine Guardians at a time when a threat is identified to mankind, but only upon proving their worth in battle. The party has to beat her on Disc 2 before she grants them her power. Her ultimate attack is 'Bodak flavo'.

Pope Chadwick XI
Has unknowingly fucked up the religion by allowing corrupt shit to pass in the name of the Holy book. He believes he has done nothing wrong, but he's too problematic and must be stopped. You have no choice but to fight him. He has 3 forms.


Le Angel de Moyeunaise
Pope Chadwick XI makes you fight her before you can fight him. She is fiercely devoted to him, but realises in her final moments that he don't give a shit about her; when he refuses to step in and save her life as your party finish her off.


Monáe the Sage
Hates men. Her allegiance seems ambiguous, but ultimately she helps you. She turns up out of nowhere, without explanation and reads your party every chance she gets. If you complete her side quest, she'll give you the most powerful weapon in the game.

Solange
Black mage. The Lulu of the group. One of the party members is in love with her, but she's got no time for that, as she's already fucked their brother and reminisces about that dick. It is later revealed that her bloodline is linked to one of the divine guardians, Beyoncé.


?
Pops up throughout your journey and continually challenges you to fight against her and her summon. You never find out what her name is or why she keeps poppin' up. Nobody knows who she is.

Princess Ariana Venti-Grande
Due to showing magic abilities at birth, her parents sent her away to protect her from the witch trials in their home town. Her attitude is foul and the party can't stand her. But she's the only one amongst them who can call on the divine summons.

LeOnika
Holds a grudge against LeBelcalis, due to the Gods granting her ascension to a divine guardian, whilst sending her to Terra as a mortal to protect the divine artefact, The mirror of Trinidem, for all eternity. Regularly Googles 'how to end it all' in her spare time.