Instagram creeping vol. 3: Featuring Crystal Kay, Mariah Carey, BoA & Perfume

This volume of Instagram creeping is sponsored by F.L.O.P. An organisation that supports females in J-Pop whose careers have fallen off, via the aid of blog exposure, social posts to help bolster their relevancy and pity streams of their new material - because their labels have so few fucks to give them, that they won't make their old shit available for the memories. As part of this sponsorship, the following post features a few artists whose careers F.L.O.P has attempted to resuscitate.

As featured on Crystal Kay's Instagram account | crystalkayofficial

Crystal Kay gives us our first look at her as the Leading player in Japan's run of the Broadway musical Pippin. Now let's be real. The Leading Player in Pippin is predominantly played by a black actress, which is a large part of why Crystal got tipped. Casting agents in Japan probabaly have a crusty old post-it note with 'Dark skinned gaijin, speak nihongo' scrawled on it that they refer to for these types of roles. But I can't be mad at that. Because the Leading Player is a bad ass role and this marks one of few instances in her career where her skin tone and ethnicity has actually worked for her.

Crystal featuring in a Japanese Broadway gig is a weird flex, but it will do wonders for her vocals and her stage presence, both of which are already top-notch. It will be interesting to see if her stint in Pippin colours her next album or her future live performances in any way. I would LOVE Crystal to release an acoustic covers album which featured a couple of her numbers from Pippin, along with studio recorded versions of songs that she's masterfully covered over the years. Hikaru Utada's "Deep river", TLC's"No scrubs", Michael Jackson's "Human nature"...

LDH don't seem keen on growth of evolution from Crystal, so we probably won't get it.

As featured on Mariah Carey's Instagram account | mariahcarey

Well, this is sweet. It looks like Namie gifted Mariah with a pair of her iconic boots for that copy of The emancipation of Mimi that she gave her all those years ago. It's always nice to see legends supporting legends.

As featured on Beni's Instagram account | beniboooo

Beni has released her 10th original studio album Cinematic and Beni took to Instagram to serve some Mildred Pierce type realness. Or if we're not here for the original referencing and wanna keep it current; Beni took to Instagram to serve Beyoncé "Dance for you".

Oddly enough, a couple of Beni's albums from her golden era (Bitter & Sweet and Jewel) were made available on streaming platforms a few weeks ago and then mysteriously disappeared. And if she ain't careful with these new releases, she gon' Thanos snap her whole career and have it all disappear.

Read all about it: My review of Beni's Cinematic

As featured on BoA's Instagram account | boakwon

BoA just out here living her best life. She released an album not that long ago and she has a tour coming up. But she ain't killing herself with television appearances and promo. She dropped a cute little music video. Dropped the album. Did a couple of television appearances. Then peaced out and went on a vacation. Bitch, I see the Chanel over-the-shoulder and the Hermes shopping bags. You better spend that money!

Ever since BoA started to slow down with her music releases and just take her time, I've started to warm to her. It's a similar thing with Rihanna. The second that bitch stepped back from music, I grew to like her more. Sometimes you just need certain folk in this game to chill for you to appreciate their persona, their personality and what exactly they've accomplished. And it's hard to do that when they're bombarding you with music, albums and videos; especially once the quality begins to dip, as was the case with both BoA and Rihanna.

Most of the pics on BoA's Insta are of her just living her life day-to-day, with the obligatory selfie making bitches envious with that flawless skin. I've given up on demanding her skin care routine in her Insta comments, because it's probably genetics. That's the real tea. Ya'll can care for your skin all you like. But if your parents have garbage skin, your skin gon' be garbage too. And if good skin runs in the family, you can get away with having no skin care routine and still manage to look decent. I'm the former category unfortunately. But that said, I still be spending hella money on skin care and acting like it's making a difference. My bathroom be looking like Aesop concessions. Chile.

As featured on Ayumi Hamasaki's Instagram account | a.you

Nope. She deaf.

As featured on Mariah Carey's Instagram account | mariahcarey

It's great that Miming Mimi was able to get a physical copy of her album, because I wasn't able to get one for a good here in the UK while. Every store I went into didn't have a copy. Not because this shit sold out. But because they didn't stock the damn album in the first place. I've also made a habit of checking out the music section of every supermarket I go into and not a single one I've been in has this album. I even went into a music store on Oxford Street, one of the busiest shopping streets in Europe (kinda like our equivalent of 5th avenue...or would that be more Regent Street!?) Anyway. Fact of the matter is, the one music store on a busy ass street in Central London did not have her album either.

Epic records what's good!?

It's no surprise that Caution entered the UK albums chart at number 40 when no retailers have physical copies of it. And it's mad messy for her record label to have Mariah performing Christmas gigs in the UK, all the while no storeS have physical copies of her album.

But Mariah flops are never true flops. Glitter, despite being deemed a flop, still pushed 2 million units back when it first released and found itself at number 1 on the iTunes chart 17 years later. So I imagine that Caution will still push decent units domestically as she continues to tour, even if it's not a record breaker. And if it doesn't pop now, maybe it will in 2035, providing the Lambily don't opt to give Me. I am Mariah its moment instead.

It's a real shame that the commercial response to Caution has been so lukewarm, because it's one of her most critically acclaimed albums to date and deservedly so. Caution is easily one of Mariah's best albums. So I hope Epic records take Mariah's heed and go 'the distance' *Starts body rolling* with this album because it deserves a long game plan of promo to get it there.

Read all about it: My review of Miming Mimi's Caution

As featured on Perfume's Instagram account | prfm_official

Perfume? At a fashion event!? I know. I choked too. Perfume wearing 'FASHUN' and designer is always a weird thing for me, because they rarely carry it off well. But they look nice here. Well...Kashiyuka and Nocchi do at least. Both girls look as though they are wearing actual Valentino couture. Where-as a-chan's dress looks like it was custom made for her. It's a silhouette that she always wears and the dress looks far too tailored to her individual taste for it to be off the rack or the runway. But that's just me shooting the shit and speculating. You can't see from the shot above, but she's also wearing Perfume looking ass shoes, and not even in red ya'll. In dull ass navy. So her whole get-up has her looking like she's about to go hit up her receptionist gig. a-chan's looks is not a stretch for her. It's just another day. Nocchi's look is a look she's been rocking a lot over the course of Future pop's run, which is long-wide-ass leg pants. But it's very much her style, as she always wears loose, baggy shit. Where-as Kashiyuka is having a rare moment of wearing a dress that comes past her knees. Both girls look great. I don't know why they can't perform in outfits like this every now and then and do what most western pop stars do and have a designer make their tour outfits. Not that this would make any difference to a-chan, because she'd request that they just give her the same shape and silhouette that she usually has.

Read all about 'em: My reviews of... Game | Triangle | JPN | LEVEL3 | Cosmic explorer | Future Pop
Check out Random J Pop editions of Perfume's albums: A Prfm rescue mission

As featured on Kyary Pamyu Pamyu's Instagram account | kyarypappa

Kyary Pamyu Pamyu showed us a look at her bedside, where she has a bunch of crucifixes. I didn't picture Pussy Pam as praying woman, but it seems those dismal Japamyu sales have had her turn to the Lord for a holiday spike to send it back up the charts from the hundreds.

Read all about it: My review of Kyardi P's Japamyu

As featured on Kumi Koda's Instagram account | kumikoda_official

All I see in fashun these days is Gucci, Fendi and Balmain (which is all because of Beyoncé). But it makes sense that Kumi Koda would be at a Versace store event, because their brand is sliding downhill, just like her career. Whilst the store staff sent Kumi outside to check that the store security barriers are working (yes bitch, security tags still be on that dress and shoulder bag), everybody else is chilling with brands who are actually poppin'. Putting out trash, but poppin' none-the-less.

Namie would never be caught at any store event. Especially not Versace. Namie was so dead against being seen in any store, that when Gucci asked her, she told them 'No bitch. The only way you gon' have me in your store is as a hologram'. So they put a fucking Namie Amuro hologram in their store windows. Real bitches don't pull up to the store in person.

Perfume at it again with the TikTok's. I am living for Nocchi not giving a single fuck, looking dead in the eyes, but still bossing the routine. And can we please have a moment for Kashiyuka's heels. She is not in those dead clumpy ass "Mugenmirai" shoes. And she's not in those dead Perfume pumps. A bitch is in a nice, stylish looking ankle boot with a proper heels.