Random J(unk) Mail: 18.12.22 - And we back outside

Worldwide hoodie with the mask outside, in case you forgot flu’s back outside

Random J(unk) Mail is a weekly roundup of whatever the fuck. A collection of things that I was too lazy to make individual posts on. Or just small things that I didn’t think warranted a post, but I still wanted to share thoughts on. I’m gonna try to do this weekly. But those of you who have been here for a minute know my ass is lazy.

These are always late. There was no Random J(unk) Mail last week. This is just how it is y’all. When the shit drops, it drops.

SZA. I feel you gurl.

HENNYWAY.

Me and Mariah, go back like mangers and Isaiah

Christmas is coming here, which means Mariah grows powerful y’all. This has been a joke on Tommy Mottola’s Internet for years, but I finally see it.

Fan videos surfaced of Mariah’s Christmas gig. And not only was she sounding good, but she was wearing an A-line dress of a cut we rarely ever see her in. She was showing us leg. Homegirl was even walking unassisted. Christmas does a body good when it’s Mariah’s. There truly can be miracles when you believe.

It seems Christmas also powers her daughter too, because Mariah brought out Munroe Cannon Carey to sing with her. And eerily, when she and Mariah sang together, Munroe sounded like Mariah doing background vocals. So absolutely expect Mariah’s next release to feature Munroe in some form.

The campaign for “All I Want for Christmas Is You” has been tame this year, which I guess is to be expected after it finally went number 1 in 2021. So maybe now Mariah will do what needs to be done and start trying to campaign for her other original Christmas songs. “Christmas Time is in the Air Again” and “Miss You Most at Christmas Time” are RIGHT the fuck there, waiting.

💿 Mariah Carey Christmas album reviews: Merry Christmas | Merry Christmas II You


Nocchi does not give a damn about no Instagram

Back in October, Perfume launched individual Instagram accounts, and it’s been really interesting to see the way each member uses it. The image above is a perfect representation of each members’ approach to Instagram. a-chan’s account has 25 posts at present. All cute selfies, photos of her outfits and her dog. Everything curated for cuteness. Big surprise. Kashiyuka has 18 posts at present. Her shit is super cool and chill. Influencer vibes. Big surprise. And then there’s Nocchi, who…

Big Surprise. Nocchi has been telling us for years that she’s lazy. I bet the only reason Perfume got individual accounts was because a-chan wanted to post more of her shit and dance challenges, but Amuse said ‘You ain’t putting all that shit on the main Perfume account’.

Every time I look at Nocchi’s Instagram account with just 3 squares, I feel a connection to her. Because I neglect the shit out of my Instagram account too. I also neglect this blog. But we ain't talking about that right now. And despite Nocchi not posting a damn thing, she still remains the most followed member of the group, which probably makes a-chan sick to her stomach.

📷 Perfume on Instagram: Bob | Long hair | Not iconic


Broken Souls in Club Renaissance

Beyoncé is yet to drop even a crumb of a music video, but her team are continuing to have these Club Renaissance events pop up in cities around the world; the latest being in Los Angeles. A place I have honestly never wanted to go, and still have no desire to visit. But that’s a whole other post.

Fashion model Shaun Ross who was in attendance posted this…

Club renaissance LA too good ❤️ pic.twitter.com/kHqoiD0MMu

— Shaun Ross (@ShaundRoss) December 17, 2022

I’ve seen more bodies move in a cemetery.

Now. On the rare occasions where I have felt social and not utterly disgusted at the thought of being around people, I have gone to the club. And I have been fortunate to hear something off of Renaissance every single time since July. And each time “Break My Soul” has come on, the place has gone absolutely bananas. Everybody starts noguing. The imaginary Pocahontas weaves come out. Every back is up off the wall. You can barely hear the music, because everybody is screaming the lyrics. And yet at a packed out official Club Renaissance party, everybody is just shuffling and nobody is singing to the song!?

Go home.

When I go to the club, I am going to that bitch TO DANCE.

I will be reviewing Renaissance. And we gon’ talk about “Break My Soul”. Because I went from being on the fence to that song, to not being able to stop playing it. Spotify called me out and told me it’s my most played song this year. I’m usually in dispute with Spotify Wrapped, because I listen to most of my music offline. But even offline, I’ve been playing “Break My Soul” a lot, so…that’s that I guess.

💿 Single review: Break My Soul


Ticketmaster is on their scam shit, yet again
Ticketmaster are really messing with the wrong ones this year. Or maybe it’s the right ones, given the amount of money and publicity they’ve gotten as a result.

Fresh after scamming Taylor Swift’s fans, Ticketmaster scammed Bad Bunny’s. Ticketmaster managed to not only oversell tickets to one of Bad Bunny’s shows, but it turns out fake tickets were also ‘somehow’ in circulation, and real tickets were not scanning at the venue and being deemed fakes; resulting in fans being turned away. Meanwhile half the venue wasn’t even full. Meaning that somehow Ticketmaster oversold tickets to a gig which didn’t end up at capacity, and had fake tickets and / or dodgy ticket scanners at the venue, preventing large numbers of people to be turned away. None of it makes sense, but this is Ticketmaster for you.

Ticketmaster were already due to be investigated after the mess with Taylor Swift, but now they can also look forward to action from the Mexican government over the Bad Bunny shit too. And on top of this, Taylor Swift’s fans are seeking to sue Ticketmaster.

Ticketmaster is an absolute scam, and has been for decades. I’ve experienced their bullshit first hand when they scammed me out of Hikaru Utada tickets. I don’t think anything is going to come of these incidents unfortunately. But I would very much like to be wrong, because Ticketmaster has gotta go.


SZA’s out of office is on chile

So, she finally did it y’all. SZA released the follow-up to her debut Ctrl, and it’s breaking all sortsa records and shit. The album features a whopping 23 tracks, which is excessive as all hell, even with some of the songs being on-trendingly short. But I get it. SZA is a reluctant artist. She’s said that she just wanted the album out and over with, and that part of her didn’t even want to release it. So I take a 23 track album from SZA as a ‘Here. Fucking take the songs and the album.’ She wants to spend her Kwanzaa and New Year’s in PEACE without anybody asking for this song, that song and when the album is dropping. Although people are already asking, because the song “PSA” didn’t make the album.

SZA has openly mentioned in interviews that there are other songs that she liked, which aren’t on the album for all manner of reasons. And she has also thrown it out there that there could be a deluxe edition of SOS. SZA will be touring SOS in 2020, and I have a feeling that she will probably end up playing unreleased songs live; which will lead to the videos going viral online, and then SZA being harassed for the official releases. And as for this deluxe edition of SOS that she mentions, just remember that we never got a deluxe edition of Ctrl until 5 years after the album originally dropped.

One thing I do know though, is that SZA gon’ need to write some new verses and add “Big Boys” to the tour setlist. Because…

That chorus is doing all the right things.

SZA probably don’t even wanna tour, but she knows she’s got to. But trust that SZA just wants to get the fuck up outta here and be done with SOS.

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So. What’s the lesson in this week’s Random J(unk) Mail?

If you’re working a job which does not require you to be switched on and give anything even remotely close to even 70%, then don’t. It's almost Christmas. Fuck it. Be pleasant and functional whilst still giving nothing. Like a sloth.

There are so many business and organisations which could just close the week before / of Christmas, and give their employees paid leaves, yet don’t, and it makes no sense. Capitalism, I guess.

Have a non-miserable day.
?J