Random J(unk) Mail: 4.12.22 - Hush, Hush

Can you seeeeeeeeee it, these firm thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiighs

Random J(unk) Mail is a weekly roundup of whatever the fuck. A collection of things that I was too lazy to make individual posts on. Or just small things that I didn’t think warranted a post, but I still wanted to share thoughts on. I’m gonna try to do this weekly. But those of you who have been here for a minute know my ass is lazy.

I’m so tired of football.

The way the UK goes up for it every time gets on my nerves. And because of this damn world cup, I can’t escape it.

I’ve never liked football. As a kid, it was always something that I felt I had to do and get involved it, despite disliking every second of it. I wasn’t good at football. I had a powerful kick, but no control. I was fast, but couldn’t dribble. I was unreliable as fuck, so I always the last to get picked.

Maybe there’s some early trauma there which has made me grow to develop a disdain for football. But I also can’t stand the culture, because it’s just a combination of things I don’t like. Loud. Drunk. Busy. Messy. Unpredictable. This is not a good combination for straight white people. Even the good ones.

HENNYWAY.

Enough of that rubbish.

Evian pussy

That Fenty Falsetto song for Black Panther: Wakanda Forever came and went. The overall excitement of Fenty Flat being back seems like it has vanished into thin air, and it’s partly because “Lift Me Up” just wasn’t the big comeback song that many were wanting from Fenty Franchises. But also, the song just wasn’t that great in her hands. I think she sounds terrible on it. The song works in the context of the film and hits far better as part of it. I will give it that. But it just didn’t catch on in the same way that “All the Stars are Kosher” did.

But there is a song on the Black Panther: Wakanda Forever soundtrack which is just straight up great, and has a very memorable moment in the film, and it’s the song “Con La Brisa”.

When this song dropped in the film, not only was I like ‘Wow’ at what was being shown on screen at that moment, but when that bassline and the rap hit? I was grinding my ass in my seat.

“Con La Brisa” was produced by Ludwig Göransson, who is also responsible for the film score. And it’s a great showcase of what you can get when you have a film composer who also produces music for artists. (Side note: Ludwig Göransson produces all of Childish Gambino’s music, and also scored The Mandalorian and the Disney animated film Turning Red).

It’s a shame that movie soundtracks tend to be led by one single and that’s it, because “Con La Brisa” would make for a great ‘Post film release’ single. Especially if it had a music video of Tenoch Huerta walking around in shallow water in his green pum-pum shorts.


Charmbracelet turns [REDACTED]
December 3rd marked the [Redacted]th album anniversary of Mariah Carey’s 9th studio album Charmbracelet. An album which had a pretty quiet release following the complete mess that was Glitter. And For the Record, only the film and the rollout of Glitter was a mess. The album itself was not. And whilst a type of justice was sought for Glitter, I do feel that it deserved more. “Never Too Far” deserves to be a HIT sweetie. Disney need to snap that shit up and do something with it, because it’s Disney princess as FUCK. Perhaps when Disney get their shit together, because I don’t know what the fuck they’re doing over at Disney Animations. Strange Worlds? I don’t know her. Nobody knows her. Because Disney aren’t telling anybody the film is even out.

HENNYWAY.

Back to the bracelet album.

Charmbracelet was an album that the Lambs always liked, but it didn’t really catch on with the public. And given the single choices, the point at which it was released, and how much of a mess was caused over Glitter, it’s no surprise that Mariah and her team played Charmbracelet so safe. As was the case with Glitter, the public perception of the album was completely swallowed up in everything which had nothing to do with the music itself. Glitter was not a bad album despite how it bombed. And Charmbracelet was not a bad album despite the way Def Jam brushed it under the rug with lukewarm promo and the most tepid of single choices.

To those with no taste, Charmbarecelet is seen as a filler album or one which holds no real significance in Mariah Carey’s discography. But they are wrong. WRONG I tells ya. Charmbracelet laid a lot of the groundwork for its mega successful follow-up The Emancipation of Mimi. In fact, it kinda laid it all. And we’d see traits and ideas which started on Charmbracelet carried through into Einstein My Body and Memoirs of My Titty Shadows.

The singles from Charmbracelet were not the best, but they did make sense for the point Mariah was at in her career. “Through the Rain” is a nice song, but it felt very safe and by numbers. It also didn’t help that the song didn’t feel very album specific. “Through the Rain” coulda easily been a song on on Rainbow, or even Butterfly. (Or even Glitter). But this is probably why the song was chosen. ‘Do y’all remember Mariah Carey and ballads?!’. “Boy (I Need You)” was a great song. But it was nothing that was gonna set the charts a light. And it also didn’t help that the song it sampled was still being played on the radio at the time. Most probably heard “Boy (I Need You)” and through it was a remix of Cam’ron’s song which featured Mariah, which may be why it was chosen as a single; in addition to it reminding people of Mariah’s successful collaborations with rappers. ‘Y’all remember when Mariah did that song with Ol’ Dirty Bastard and that other song with Jay-Z?’. And “Bringin’ On the Heartbreak” was just a ‘Y’all remember when Mariah Carey did covers?’ single, and nothing more.

For how much Charmbracelet is oft overlooked, Mariah has continued to be very vocal about it being one of her favourite albums, and many of her Lambs agree.

Imagine being this iconic. Truly Mariah #1 fan🥰 pic.twitter.com/ydRECshVfl

— I DON’T KNOW HER (@OutsellingUrFav) September 8, 2020

So, fuck what anybody else thinks. And whilst I’m not a big fan of the term ‘everything happens for a reason’, I do think that Charmbracelet’s lukewarm reception and safe rollout paved the way for The Emancipation of Mimi to be the mega success it was, and re-shaping not just Mariah’s career, but expectations of her music.


Crystal Kay’s World Cup anthem
I have zero interest in football. None. I know there is a football tournament thing happening in Qatar, and that Duolingo told everybody ‘Y’all ain’t getting me in a bodysuit dancing to “Levitating” whilst y’all are policing human rights’. And that’s about it.

But I want to take this moment to highlight Crystal Kay’s “Forever”. Yes, bitch. A whole turn. We went from football, to Future Nostalgia, to human rights, to Crystal Kay in a couple of sentences.

Ever since hearing the song “Forever” back in 2012, I always felt that it woulda made a great World Cup theme song. I mean, listen to this shit.

The drums. The vibe. The chorus.

Run this song over a football montage, and tell me this song is not a World Cup theme song.

Crystal Kay gotta get her shit together though. How is this music video not in HD on her own YouTube channel and with a proper video thumbnail!?

Gurl, fire the whole management and marketing team.


The Green Ranger passes

This right here is not music related. But if I wanted to reach, the Green Ranger did play a flute. So, there is that. Also, this is my blog. And in the words of Queen Namiersable ‘I do what I want, I do what I like’.

Jason David Frank, best known for playing Tommy, the Green Ranger who would then become the White Ranger, died on November 19th. It had surfaced since the news of his passing was made public that he had taken his own life, leaving behind a wife and four kids.

This one really hit, because I was a big Power Ranger fan growing up. Seasons 1 and 2 of Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers being on Netflix was the reason I even bothered signing up to the service.

I still remain a bit of a Power Rangers fan at heart, so I followed Jason David Frank on Instagram back when I was new to the platform, because he never stopped being the Green Ranger. He seemed proud to be a part of the Power Rangers, and to continue that legacy in a way that most and even some of his co-stars chose not to. Even though Jason wasn’t a part of every single series of Power Rangers, he featured in more of them than any of the OG cast members. I’m sure there was a Power Rangers season when Tommy came back as a professor or some shit. And that he was also a bunch of different coloured rangers at his big-ass age too. But he remained somewhat of a constant in a franchise which kept changing to the point that it became something different from what I remembered. So to hear that he passed, it really hit me. It was a much needed reminder that no matter how silly or insignificant something you do seems, there is always the chance it means something to someone, and Jason understood that. Most would not want to long be associated with some kids show they did in their late teens, but he became proud of that work and managed to build an entire career off of. Jason being so proud of being a Power Ranger is what made him so popular amongst fans, and why the show kept giving him cheques.

Some may say ‘We, he can’t have been that happy about everything for him to have taken his own life’. If only things were this black and white. I’m not going to speculate why Jason took his own life. I didn’t know him. We’ll never know the answers. And those answers aren’t for any of us any way.

But I hope anybody who is reading this and really going through it is able to to just hang in there, and find a way to process that pain over time to reach a point where you are no longer just hanging on, but truly living. But, it’s tough out here.

Have a non-miserable day.
?J