Album review: Madonna - Hard candy

To prove she's still 'with it' and can run with those younger bitches, Madonna has teamed up with Pharrell Williams, Timbaland, Danja and Justin Timberlake for her eleventh studio album Hard candy. Madonna thinks she's taking a risk by working with these guys, but she knows she's playing it safe. How much safer can you play it by releasing a lead single produced by Timbaland, Danja and featuring Justin Timberlake in 2008!?

Hard candy is a pop record. Do not let the producer roster fool you for a second. Everything is glossed in an accessible, radio friendly, pop sheen that is on brand for Madonna. Despite featuring tracks helmed by Pharrell and Timbaland (the most experimental and left field producers in the game right now) Hard candy has a pretty safe sound. The heavy brass laden "4 minutes" and the "Milkshake"-esque "Candy shop" is probably as different and wild as it gets. Everything else is pretty tame and channels sounds Madonna has delved into in the past. Pharrell and Timbaland have definitely produced better songs than the ones they did here, but they still deliver some hot tracks which do a great job of bridging the gap between Madonna as she was and Madonna as she is. Even if the end result comes off as a little desperate on the surface.

"Give it 2 me" is a great song and features some of Pharrell Williams' slickest production to date. Its reggae and ska tinged beat sounds great and it's near impossible to listen to without wanting to dance. This will be Madonna's second single from the album and it's a great choice. You just know she is going to have her coochie out in the music video.

"Heartbeat" is a another great song courtesy of Pharrell. It's one of the most nostalgic songs on the album because it channels Madonna during her "Into the groove" era. The chorus is catchy and the beat is fire. Definitely one for the clubs. Even though Madonna's vocals aren't the best and she sounds like a cat being run over at times, there's something cool and endearing about imperfect they are. It's shows that she can still get a little loose and not be so concerned with sounding super controlled.

"Miles away" is an album standout. Timbaland and Danja channel the exact same sound they brought to Nelly Furtado's "All good things (Come to an end)", but it's hard to hate them for recycling when the end result is this good. Madonna fans will probably like this track amongst what they deem mostly mess, as there's no compromise to her style, and "Miles away" sounds very much like a more funked up version of "Love profusion" from American life. A strong candidate for a single and will undoubtedly be an album fave for many. The beat switch at the end felt unnecessary though and somewhat kills the beauty of the song.

"Incredible" is typical Pharrell and is a bit of an odd one. It doesn't quite do anything on a first listen, but you do find yourself liking it that bit more each time. As with most of Hard candy, this is a song I felt would've been better in the hands of the likes of Gwen Stefani. Madonna's vocal style doesn't really match the song and at times her voice sounds strained. But it's fun and features a really cool beat switch mid way through.

Once Hard candy hits the mid-way point, it's already lost steam. The album slinks into a bunch of mediocre songs that has Madonna reverting back into the lifeless android she was on her last 2 albums. "Dance 2night" is boring and sounds like a rip off of a Bee-Gee's song. It does not make me want to get up and dance, it makes me drift into a coma. Madonna does not sell this song and Timbaland does not come correct enough with the beat. "Spanish lesson" is just whackness. Think "Don't tell me" with Flamenco overtones and odd lines of badly spoken Spanish. The song has too much going on and sounds far too unpolished in comparison to the Pharrell productions earlier in the album. "Devil wouldn't recognise you" sounds like a re-hash of Rihanna's "Rehab", which was a re-hash of Justin Timberlake's "What Goes Around... Comes Around", which was a re-hash of Bubba Sparxxx's "Deliverance". I find it pretty shameful that Timbaland, Danja, Justin and Madonna all thought they could get away with this song. Everything about it just screams 'none of the bitches could be bothered'. The album closer "Voices" manages to bring things back to decency, sounding like something from ABBA's The visitors album. It's wonderfully haunting, even though Madonna's annoyingly socially conscious lyrics may grate. I find it hard to take anything she says regarding the world seriously. All it does it make her sound like a hypocrite. It's ironic she talks about people being slaves to others when she took a back seat on the whole of her own record and followed a trend by who she worked with. Still...the beat is hot and it's a great closer to the album - although I feel the song ends prematurely and it could've done with an extra verse or some Jim Beanz style vocal arrangements. You expect the song to pick up and really go somewhere, but it it ends with bells and strings out of nowhere.

Timbaland and Pharrell's production is incredibly patchy. Each of them get it right on at least 2 occasions, but mess up on the rest. Pharrell does a great job with channelling the old, fun, loose Madonna on "Heartbeat" and "Give it 2 me", but the other songs he gives her feel off and like they should've gone to somebody else. Timbaland and Danja do a great job of keeping Madonna's recent sound on songs such as "Miles away" and "Voices", but everything else they give her feels incredibly lacking. The vocal production is also too bog standard and Madonna still sounds too dead pan. All of the Pharrell productions sound like they were done in one okay take, which adds charm following an album like American Life where Madonna sounded super controlled and auto-tuned for most of it. And all of the Timbaland productions have Justin providing all of the backing vocals and harmonies to the point he should have featuring credits on the damn songs. It gives the impression that Madonna can't hold a song on her own, when we know that this isn't the case. Confessions on a dancefloor had songs overproduced and filled out with Stuart Price's music and Hard Candy has Pharrell and Justin picking up the vocal slack. Half of this album would NOT work without these two providing vocals. I would've liked Madonna to have been pushed more vocally and for her voice to feel more unified with the beats - which often over power and outshine her. She kinda sings each song the same way. You never feel like she's taming the songs and running circles around them as she should have done - though she does a better job on the Pharrell productions, than the Timbaland ones.

Hard candy isn't as tragic an album as many would have you believe. The main problem with it is that for every song that does work, you get about two that don't. And despite Madonna being branded a trend setter, her album sounds like an album full of material that Gwen Stefani passed on. And frankly, Gwen would've done this whole entire album much better.

Hard candy has its moments. It's just not as trend setting, innovative and fresh as many (including Pharrell, Timbaland, Justin Timberlake and Madonna herself) would have you believe. Fans will remember it for all the wrong reasons, and those new to Madonna will probably wonder what the hell this shit is. Which is a shame, because there are some really great songs on this album which give me more of what I've wanted from Madonna for the past few years.

VERDICT: THE SUGAR IS RAW

Album highlights:
■ Candy shop
■ Give it 2 me
■ Heartbeat 🏆
■ Miles away
■ Incredible