VMA 2008: The performances

So we already took a look what what some of these bitches and bastards were wearing on the red carpet - now let's take it to the stage and check out the 'performances' (if you can even call some of them that).

Britney Spears does...um...nothing!

When it was announced that Britney was going to be opening the VMA's they were telling it right down to the wire. That's ALL she did. No elaborate skit, no dance, no nothing! I'm glad she didn't perform though. You could see it in her face and the way she flew through her lines with an odd pronouncation of the word 'anniversary' that she still isn't ready to hit that big stage. Next year will be the year she performs for sure.

The Forehead - Disturbia

The bitch bores me. Despite all of the flashing lights, the dancers and the cool stage setup, - The Forehead still didn't captivate. Watching her perform was like watching a bogey on a table. 100% un-interesting. She may as well have not been on the stage at all. I doubt anybody would've noticed. I can't even say "Well, at least her vocals were good!" because they weren't. The Forehead sounds okay when she's standing still, but second the starts moving: it's over. The second she came out of that giant staircase thingy, her vocals went to shit and they just got worse. I'm officially sick of "Disturbia" now. The song has been mad over played. I did like it, but I hate it now. Rihanna is over exposed. She needs to go take her forehead and spend a year in a hot air balloon.

Lil' Wayne featuring Leona Lewis & T-Pain - Misunderstood, A Milli, Got money

A cool performance from Weezy. I liked the inclusion of Leona Lewis and the orchestra. Although hearing Leona Lewis and Lil' Wayne in the same sentence and seeing them on stage together is odd. I also loved the song he performed with her. The "Janet at the super bowl" line had me dying! He should've ran up to Leona and snatched her titty as he rapped that line. Then came "A Milli" and THEN the emergence of the dreadlocked monster from the black lagoon that is T-Pain to join Lil' Wayne on stage for "Got money". I loved the energy the two of them had and I actually dug their performance. Rap performances are usually boring - especially at events such as the VMA's where the emphasis is usually on elaborate sets and choreography. But I liked the energy of Lil' Wayne's performance and that he actually rapped in his normal voice and not his d**k sucking rasp. It's a shame the crowd weren't into it though. They all looked bored stiff. But then again, I would've been too having been forced to sit through a VMA.

Pink - So what

I've been falling mad in love with this song ever since it touched down and this performance made me love it more. Pink shut it DOWN!! This performance was my favourite and without a doubt THE best performance of the night, because of the way Pink kept it moving and her energy. The setup was hot and despite all of the throwing of objects, sliding down a sheet stunt and the jumping around - her vocals didn't waver a single bit. It was like a damn music video! Pink did the damn thing. The Forehead needs to take notes.

Christina Aguilera - Genie in a bottle / Keeps getting better

Hold up... Did Mrs. Aguilera just mime her shit!? I think she did! Tut-tut-tut. Girls with vocals like hers should not be miming. She's come down with that Mariah syndrome already. Next she'll be ducking out of big notes (on the few occassions she decides to sing live) and sounding like shit whilst being plastered to the same spot for four minutes. It's a shame, because I really liked the performance. The stage setup was amazing, Christina looked great and her dancing was tight. The new take on "Genie in the bottle" was hot and whilst I can't stand her new song "Keeps getting better", I found it more tolerable and likeable with that performance. Aguilera was talking about a new style, but I didn't see shit new with her. Her sound now sounds like the same shit everybody else is doing (her peer Pink was on that bounce from her album Missundastood and Goldfrapp have been on it for ages) and her look now looks like that of Lady GaGa. Her performance was good to watch, but the miming was a big no-no.

T.I featuring Rihanna - Live your life

His performance was just hood. That's all there is to say about it. But it was cool. There is no denying T.I's swagger. And just when you thought you'd seen the back of The Forehead, she comes back again! In her defence: she looked hot, but she sounded like shit. I have to hand the best rap performance to Lil' Wayne though, just because of the energy and the fact it didn't feature Rihanna.

Kanye West - Love lockdown

Kanye took the oppurtunity to premiere his brand new single "Love lockdown" from his fourth studio album. His performance was really simple and stripped down, which is what I liked about it. But it was too tame for the VMA's. You can't come with these simple ass performances at a VMA show. He should've saved this simple shit for the Grammy's. As for the song: I like it because it's different Kanye - both in terms of its sound and the fact he sung the whole of it. But the auto-tuning is now a joke. You'll be hard pressed to find a song nowadays which doesn't feature the use of it. Artists should be charged some ridiculous fee to use it. Or better still, it should be banned.

[Note: This post will be updated as more performance videos become available. They are being pulled from every single video hosting website with the upmost quickness!]